Do you like me?...yes, no, maybe, who cares...BE happy STEP 1

The number 1 offender of happiness....You must let go of trying to get....

“If you just set out to be liked, you will be prepared to compromise on anything at anytime, and would achieve nothing. ” 
― Margaret Thatcher

1. The Approval Of Others

Who gives a sh*t what other people think? If you are happy with the decisions you have made, then whose business is that but your own? Think of how much you could achieve if you stopped letting other people’s opinions dictate the way you live your life. Do you, and engage in whatever actions you think might better your life.

I posted an article about Mary Mary's Erica Campbell and a dress she was wearing for her album cover. It was a huge ordeal as to whether or not this dress was appropriate for her to wear as a christian artist. Although this in particular has many other moving parts, the foundation of the disgruntlement is the same. The public didn't approve.

Sometimes we focus too much on whether or not we are pleasing others and not on whether or not what we are doing is good for us. There is a time, I feel , that it is appropriate compromise, but at the end of it all, you should do what is best for your. In the end, most people are doing what is best for themselves. If you walk around doing what is best for others all the time, you will miss out on your own happiness.

When you are constantly doing things for others, none of your accomplishments will seem worthy. It will be similar to a hamster in a wheel running and never getting anywhere. People you are trying to please, are not usually satisfied. You will continue to work to satisfy someone that will continue to want more and more from you. You will continue to try to go above and beyond a bar that is consistently raised as you meet it. This is dangerous, especially if you are already someone that is somewhat of an over achiever and hard on yourself as an individual anyways.

I've never been a 'yes' man, per se, but I have always been someone that felt really badly if someone didn't like me. I especially hate it when people around me aren't happy. Now, I do personal training , and lifestyle coaching, for almost 100 people one on one. You see how this can be a problem? When I was in school, I wanted to get in psychology but decided against it while taking courses because I didn't think I would be able to take on the work without taking on their pain. Things come full circle. You always end up in the things you were meant to end up in whether you 'choose' it or not. I am still in a position of taking care of people's problems. Their
'sofa' is just my gym

This is a great quote. It feels good, until it becomes 'desperate'  PLEASE like me. PLEASE be happy. PLEASE accept me.....I have said just recently that I feel happiest when people around me are happy. Even then, I made the statement not really thinking that there was anything wrong with what I said. There shouldn't be a time where we base our own happiness on others. People are flakey, emotional, some timey, and inconsistent. It's like Forest Gump said, you never know what you're gonna get.  :)  You can't live like that. When you are focusing on beinga better person, you are better for those around you and then EVERYONE SHOULD be happy. And when they aren't, maybe you aren't the one that needs to fix something.

How do we let go of this mentality?

http://tinybuddha.com/blog/how-to-let-go-of-the-need-for-approval-to-start-thriving/

How to Let Go of the Need for Approval

1. Build a sound sense of self-acceptance.

The first step is to strengthen your core foundation so that you feel strong enough to go with what feels right for you. This way, you will no longer feel the need to look to others to feel good enough about your choices and decisions.

Keep a self-appreciation journal, where you start acknowledging daily or a few times a week the things you’re most proud of about yourself: choices you’ve made, insights you’ve learned, things you like about yourself, times you’ve stayed true to yourself, or whatever feels right for you.

2. Let go of seeking validation from others.

Secondly, you need to practice letting go of seeking validation for your choices and most importantly, for whom you choose to be.

This means noticing your language, self-talk, and behavior, and identifying when it is coming from wanting someone else to say you’re ok, that you made the right choice, or that you did the right thing.

Instead, when you do make a decision, check in with yourself that it feels right, remind yourself that it is your choice, and give yourself validation for just being you.

3. Evaluate tasks based on approval-seeking efforts.

Lastly, start being honest with yourself when you take on a new task or commitment, whether you are doing it because it is “right” for you or because you want to get approval and avoid disapproval.

Sit down and evaluate your weekly tasks and ask yourself what is really necessary and important, and what is driven by people pleasing. Then slowly work through the “people pleasing” list and eliminate them.

How has the need for approval impacted your life?

TODAY's CHALLENGE - Most of the time, it's about loving yourself, which so many of us have such a hard time doing. Accepting who you are and truly being unapologetic for just being you. We try so hard to fit a 'mold' that someone else made up. Love yourself. Be yourself. Be happy...Be.

People who want the most approval get the least and people who need approval the least get the most.
Wayne Dyer 
Read more at http://www.brainyquote.com/quotes/keywords/approval.html#oQcdAqeziO7z1y0V.99