Happiness....the 20 Step Series....Step 19

Happiness....the 20 Step Series....

There are no HAPPY control freaks....

Let go of....

19. The Need For Control

Sometimes you just need to let life happen the way it is meant to. You cannot spend your life stressing about things that are outside of your control. Try to relax, and let things play out naturally. Embrace the unknown, as this is where you will be surprised the most. Let yourself be whisked into unforeseen endeavors, and relish in the excitement they bring.

When I was a kid, I LOVED roller coasters. I loved that I never knew where the next turn would take me or what the next BIG drop was going to be. I grew up in Texas and there was this super old roller coaster named the Judge Roy SCREAM. lol. We would come to the top of this roller coaster, and there was a sign with bugs bunny on it and the caption above his head said 'Don't look down'.  Sometimes, they would hold us there just a few seconds and then drop us to our ultimate demise! LOVED it. I would ride it multiple times and we went EVERY year. It never got old. 

As an adult, it's not so cool not knowing. At least not for me. I like to know what's about to happen, what's happening, what I can prevent from happening, etc. People see me as that person that maintains this type of control in all aspects of my life. So, when I am not able to accomplish that, I feel unaccomplished. When something is wrong, I fix it. I've always been that person. In my family, with my friends. I don't go to people to get things done. They come to me. I am not used to not having answers, and it scares me when I don't.

I took some tips from Dr. Amy Johnson's blog Tiny Buddha. Check out her link below. The article...The art of surrender.

http://tinybuddha.com/blog/let-go-of-control-how-to-learn-the-art-of-surrender/

1. We try to control things because of what we think will happen if we don’t.

In other words, control is rooted in fear. -- This is key. I mentioned being afraid earlier. The unexpected is scary! You cannot fear what you don't know because, well, because you don't know!

2. Control is also a result of being attached to a specific outcome—an outcome we’re sure is best for us, as if we always know what’s best.

When we trust that we’re okay no matter what circumstances come our way, we don’t need to micro-manage the universe. We let go. And we open ourselves to all sorts of wonderful possibilities that aren’t there when we’re attached to one “right” path -- This is like that actor that is typecast into the same role. It's comfortable, but what if there is something better out there? 

3. The energy of surrender accomplishes much more than the energy of control.

This is ironic because you spend more energy trying to control a situation than if you just let the situation manifest on its' own.  I have high levels of anxiety, and this surfaces often during these situations. 

A great point she makes in this article is 'consider what business you are in'. Are you in the business of something you which you have direct influence. When I am speaking on business I tell people to stay in their lane. Are you in your lane? Or are you in someone else's AND yours?  Stay in your lane. Stay out of other people's kool-aid. Sweep around your OWN front porch. lol. You get the idea...

Today's Challenge

“If we are facing in the right direction, all we have to do is keep on walking.” ~Proverb