Love is.......?

WHAT is LOVE?

I liked this when I read it and had to post it to open this up. LOVE...it appears to be so simple. It is one of the most overused and yet, most misunderstood words in our vocabulary. WHAT is love?

" Love is a force of nature. However much we may want to, we can not command, demand, or disappear love, any more than we can command the moon and the stars and the wind and the rain to come and go according to our whims. We may have some limited ability to change the weather, but we do so at the risk of upsetting an ecological balance we don't fully understand. Similarly, we can stage a seduction or mount a courtship, but the result is more likely to be infatuation, or two illusions dancing together, than love." 

Published on November 25, 2011 by Deborah Anapol, Ph.D. in Love Without Limits

http://www.psychologytoday.com/blog/love-without-limits/201111/what-is-love

According to this article, it's uncontrollable. It's something that enters unannounced and can exit in the same fashion.  This would support 'falling' in and out of love. It just happened. I just woke up one day, and I didn't love you anymore. 

Let's go back to basics:

love

  [luhv]  Show IPA

noun

1.

a profoundly tender, passionate affection for another person.

2.

a feeling of warm personal attachment or deep affection, as for a parent, child, or friend.

3.

sexual passion or desire.

4.

a person toward whom love is felt; beloved person; sweetheart.

5.

(used in direct address as a term of endearment, affection, or the like): Would you like to see a movie,love?

Verb

16.

to have a profoundly tender, passionate affection for (another person).

17.

to have a strong liking for; take great pleasure in: to love music.

18.

to need or require; benefit greatly from: Plants love sunlight.

19.

to embrace and kiss (someone), as a lover.

Passion, tender, strong 'liking'. A lot of lofty words that could mean very different things to different people in different situations. I think that is what makes this so complicated. This clearly states though, that love is an emotion .So wait, once I fall in love with someone, I don't just love them forever?.....

Now this is interesting...It is sort of saying the same thing. Yeah, you can't help who you fall in love with, BUT you DO help if you continue to LOVE this person. Love becomes a CHOICE. 

I took this next excerpt from one of my favorite books...'A Purpose Driven Life' by Rick Warren.

Love is a choice and a commitment. You choose to love or you choose not to love.

Today we’ve bought into this myth that love is uncontrollable, that it’s something that just happens to us; it’s not something we control. In fact, even the language we use implies the uncontrollability of love. We say, “I fell in love,” as if love is some kind of a ditch. It’s like I’m walking along one day and bam! – I fell in love. I couldn’t help myself.

But I have to tell you the truth – that’s not love. Love doesn’t just happen to you. Love is a choice and it represents a commitment.

There it is, that  C word. lol COMMITMENT. We are throwing a lot of terms around. choice, and choosing, commitment, changes, CHANCES. 

I think this will be a great and interesting way to segway into Valentine's Day. Let's get this started..I want your thoughts..What is love???

Mood music! What is love...Haddaway!

If he only had a brain....Step 4

We are on day 4 of our happiness series....  Things we need to let go of to be happy....

4. Idea Of A Perfect Partner

There is no such thing as a perfect partner, so throw your checklist out the window. In life, what prevents us from moving forward is looking at the perfect image of a partner we concoct in our minds. Find the right person for you: one that you can love with all your heart, one you feel comfortable with and one that accepts you for the person you are. The sooner you realize there isn’t one perfect person out there for you, the better off you will be.

I love Bob Marley. He makes you scratch below the surface and really think about the real stuff. I saw two versions of this. One about the ladies, as it's quoted above and another about the gentlemen. The one I saw for the men had a phrase at the end that caught my eye, " Love hard when there is love to be had. Because perfect guys don't exist, but there is always one guy that is perfect for you."  He had this great way of putting things into perspective. Someone that is perfect for you. The statement makes you take the expectation off your partner. This person that has to look a certain way. Make a certain type of money. Work a certain job.  You have all these different criteria they have to meet and never take the time to truly appreciate that person for who they really are.  We are quick to want to mold people we meet into something they aren't. Maybe someone to impress your friends? Maybe an ex? 

There were a few different lists of ways to 'find' the perfect mate. I didn't agree with too many of them although one list, I thought had an important point.

IDENTIFY your top THREE DEAL BREAKERS

Although I don't think you should go in with a laundry list of criteria, you have to have foundational characteristics or things you want from a relationship that you absolutely MUST have and you will not move on these items. Do you want to get married? Maybe you DON'T want to get married. Does the person have to be religious? Do you want children? Maybe you don't want to deal with someone with their own children.  Define those things, and keep to those when you are 'searching'.  If you don't know what you want, or don't want, you may get it. ;)

TODAY'S CHALLENGE if you didn't see it coming already, and you don't already have it, your list. What are your three deal breakers? You will be amazed at how differently you determine whether or not someone is the person for you, with this list. Share in the comments if you are inclined. Would love to hear what's on some of your list's out there!

If I only had .... then, life would be PERFECT....Really? Step 5.....

We are on day 5 of our happiness series....  Things we need to let go of to be happy....

5. Perfect Life

Just like there is no perfect partner, there is also not a perfect life. Life is what you put into it, so if you are not willing to work hard and put forth effort, you will most likely end up miserable. The choices you make will directly reflect the life you lead. It is up to you to create the best possible world for yourself.

I remember my wedding. I'm not married now, but I've been married before and I planned the entire function myself. I have an incredible amount of respect for people who coordinate these things for a living. It is INSANE. It has so many moving parts and detail. It involves not only dealing with many different people, businesses and places but notifications, deadlines,personalities, traditions, etc. A ton of work over sometimes years for , sometimes, no more than a 20 minute ceremony. The rest is just a party and who doesn't know how to do that. I  still laugh when I hear people say they want the perfect wedding. That my friend is a SETUP for failure. There is no such thing. Someone's kid will start to cry and not go down the aisle. Someone will show up late. Someone will forget to bring something. SOMEONE will do SOMETHING. There is just too much going on. Previously we had expressed how it's important not to place expectations on people.  This is the same thing, on a grander scale. Don't place your expectations on life. As the saying goes, it is, what it is.

When you really believe the above, you really do slow down and appreciate things for what they are.  You cannot change what has happened.  Once life has played out, you take it as it comes and roll with the punches.  Everything happens for a reason, and sometimes, those reasons are not the most evident or will never be made clear. Or, get this, may have nothing to do with you. Sometimes that something is not meant for us to figure out. So what am I saying? I am saying your life is what you put into it. It may not play out the way you want but if you live it to its' fullest, you have no regrets. Love alot, laugh alot, give alot, work hard, play hard, and believe that ever day is that perfect day, because it was as it should have been.

Don't place that expectation on yourself, on your surroundings, on your friends and don't let OTHERS place that expectation on you. You will begin to realize we all have this coded set of rules we live by. We acquired from OUR friends, our family, our environment, etc. A set of rules that everyone SURELY must also live by because we all grew up in the same house right? Wrong. Get it? Everyone's perfect is not the same. My perfect may be a peanut butter and jelly sandwich and a glass of milk on a balcony by the beach, which I LOVE all aspects of that statement, btw. LOL. Someone else may hate peanut butter. Someone else may not like sand. Someone else may be afraid of heights, but I shouldn't look at them differently because they feel that way, nor they to me. We go day to day living a life with different people and different lifestyles and backgrounds and expect things to all come together in this perfect ball for US? We aren't even the only ones HERE. Gives a whole nother meaning to thinking the world revolves around us.

I like this quote, but I am probably interpreting it differently than it was meant. My own interpretation of this is not for a particular person. I don't have to have a particular someone around for life to be perfect. I think that can be dangerous to be in that space. People will not always be around physically, mentally or emotionally for you. You cannot base your livelihood on others. BUT, I believe this says that you should appreciate those that are around when they are. Every moment you have with people you truly want to be around you should appreciate those moments. You are not promised those moments or moments after that. If you believe that those moments are perfect moments you won't spend them arguing about the little things. Being upset or mad about simple things. Life is too short. People die every day all over the world. You woke up this morning. I know this because you are reading my words. I guarantee you someone somewhere didn't. Can you imagine how that would be if you woke up, and realized someone you just saw yesterday didn't? Don't wake up wishing you had.....You can't go back.

TODAY'S CHALLENGE - This is a task that isn't really a to do or reflective. I am wishing you the best day ever. I want you to go out and look at the world through rose colored lenses. I want to walk out your door and smile at the first person you see. I want you to PURPOSELY have a GREAT DAY. WHY NOT? How many times have we walked out the door and thought, this is going to be a bad day, and IT WAS. YOU are a direct reflection of your thoughts and your mind can bring your thoughts to life. REMEMBER that. You walk your thoughts. When you are thinking while you walk you are distracted. When you reflect on good things you smile, without even thinking about it. When you breathe in life, you emulate joy. Be joyful...And see how many people want to be around you.

HAPPY PERFECT WEDNESDAY!!!

My dog ate my homework....Step 9

We are on day 9 of our happiness series....  Things we need to let go of to be happy....

9. Excuses

Make no time for excuses. You want to work out, but you don’t have the time? Wake up early and get your gym on. Excuses are only rationalizations that make you feel better about yourself for not doing something you want/need to be doing. You desire results? Stop bitching, and start doing.

“At the end of the day, let there be no excuses, no explanations, no regrets.” 
― Steve Maraboli, Life, the Truth, and Being Free

So, as a professional that trains people in fitness and health, this is my mantra. (wo)Man up! lol.  I can relate this to exercise of course first and foremost. We all have excuses for why we cannot workout. You work crazy hours. You travel alot. You have 12 kids and a family to manage. I have heard it all. I don't discount any person's personal situations. We all have them, and at the end of the day, it's called life..We have to deal with it. Whether we want to or not. Whether we feel we can or not.  How important is it to deal with it is the question.  We wake up everyday and feed ourselves, walk the dog, tend to our children, go to work, do chores around the house, pay the bills,etc. We don't make up excuses for certain things because we feel we have to do these things. Maybe we feel obligated. Maybe the consequences for not doing certain things aren't great enough to warrant the responsibility. If I don't pay rent, I don't have a place to live. That's pretty serious.  If I don't workout. What's the worst that could happen? I'm a little fat and people want to poke my belly like the Pillsbury dough boy.....

But let's change the consequence. Let's say my doctor told me I have just been diagnosed with diabetes, and I could lose a limb if I don't get in better shape. Oh,... then maybe I have time in my schedule. : /
This is how we are with things , people, situations in our lives unfortunately. We have feel an urgency to realize the importance of something. We have to lose something to gain an appreciation for it. You don't know what you've got til it's gone..right?

Life is about choices and consequences of those choices. The older I've gotten, I've been forced to understand that more and more. The more excuses you give, it starts to fall  on deaf ears. Sometimes, you just have to show up. The smallest thing you do for some people, in your mind, may be a big thing to someone else. Show up for others. Show up for yourself. Make a decision and do it. It may or may not work, but at least you did what you said you would.

I read these points in a blog by Scott Young. Lengthy but a good read.

http://www.scotthyoung.com/blog/2007/11/22/how-to-stop-making-excuses/

Organizing Your Priorities

What’s more important to you right now? Expanding your finances? Succeeding academically? Improving the quality of your relationships? Excuse making is the result of conflicting priorities. When you don’t have a system for making decisions, the tendency is to just go with whatever feels best in the moment.

You can clear this up by defining what your priorities are. The purpose is to aid when one event conflicts with another. If you have to decide between working on a school project or going on a date, you need to look at your priorities. Which ranks higher? Relationships or academic success.

Priorities clears up the need for excuse making, since it simplifies decisions with conflicting values.

With priorities it’s important to define your major focus and minor focuses. A major focus should get the benefit of any extra attention you have to devote to it. Minor focuses shouldn’t be abandoned, but your goal is to put them on autopilot so most your mental energies are devoted to your major focus.

To give an example, my major focus right now is this business. Earlier this year I realized that if I put a concentrated effort, I could tip the slide to where this business could support me full-time. I’m close to there now, but not quite over the line.

My minor focuses are my health, relationships, social life, Toastmasters and school. These minor focuses continue to be worked on while I improve my income. But most my mental attention is going into ways I can expand this website and offer more value.

Splitting your priorities into a single major focus and several minor focuses makes it far harder to put out excuses. Whenever a conflict arises where I would normally offer an excuse, I can simply think of my priorities. When priorities are clear, it is difficult to justify departing from them.

Breaking Down Discomfort

Mixed-up priorities are only a part of excuse-making. Unwillingness to step into uncomfortable situations is another. Success in almost any effort requires taking risks and facing failure. Becoming a great public speaker requires you get up in front of a big audience and possibly deliver a terrible speech.

The problem is when your priorities dictate you need to take a big step, and you can’t do it. This could mean wanting to improve your business, but not being willing to make cold calls or marketing your product.

What results is excuse-making. You find easier tasks to do and excuse your procrastination. Rationalize away the feeling that you don’t feel comfortable going forward.

The fix here is to break down uncomfortable steps. Laziness is just another manifestation of fear. So if you can’t take the next step, break it into smaller parts you can handle. If you can’t get up on stage to speak, try delivering your speech in front of a few friends. If you can’t make a cold call, try calling someone you already know.

Sometimes, however, a step can’t be broken down. You either need to face it entirely or not at all. In these situations you need to get leverage on yourself. Give a friend $100 of yours to hold onto until you follow through. Make a public commitment. Any of these steps will work.

The next time you catch yourself making an excuse, ask yourself? Does this fit within my priorities? If it doesn’t and you still find yourself making excuses ask yourself if there is any way you could push yourself through the next step.

TODAY'S CHALLENGE:
Especially during this holiday season, there are people in your life that you don't always get to spend time with and see. Take the time to spend with the people you care about. The year starts to take off, and it becomes harder and harder to 'fit people in' :) And get in the gym.
NO excuses....

“The only thing standing between you and your goal is the bullshit story you keep telling yourself as to why you can't achieve it.” 
― Jordan Belfort

I Don't WANNA!....Step 10

We are on day 10 of our happiness series....  Things we need to let go of to be happy....

10. Stubbornness

I know it’s hard to admit, but sometimes you are just wrong. Other people have just as much capability as you do in providing the correct answer, so stop being stubborn and just embrace it. The less stubborn you act, the more open you are to learning new things. Think of all you could be exposed to if you stopped believing in opinions other than your own.

Ouch. lol. 

Stubbornness can lead to many different things and is usually fueled by pride and ego. You have to get past yourself so that you can see things and situations for what they are. For what they REALLY are, or you will miss out on good people, situations, or things that could better yourself.

“Well, I'm stubborn and wrong, but at least I know it.” 
― Vanessa Carlton

PERSISTENCE vs STUBBORNNESS

Because there is a difference, and it is usually in the back end of the transaction. They can look the same, but your driver behind your actions? And how you proceed within the action? Do you listen to others along the way? Is your end goal positive or something uplifting for yourself or others. Does it make sense? Are you open to other options or ideas or is it your way or the highway? I run a business. I have many people that I work with and people that contribute to my team. So many people and so many opinions, suggestions, personalities, ideas. etc. I have to remain open and listen to others. My way is not always the best way. Sometimes, it's not the best way at all. Sometimes, what is motivating my idea or thought is not the best idea for the group. I have to be able to step back and realize when that is happening and make changes. On the flip side, if I believe in something, I have to be able to implement it no matter what. It's not always the masses that want what is best for the masses. You cannot please everyone. Don't spend your time trying to convince or please the naysayers when it is not in the best interest of the community.

“There's none so blind as those who will not listen.” 
― Neil Gaiman, American Gods

• Listen to the other side of the story
• Know that you are not always right
• Trust other people, not just you
• Be humble
• Keep an open mind
• Realize being stubborn is good in some cases

This is a hard one to realize sometimes. There is a fine line between holding your ground for something and being pig headed. It requires a lot of inquiry into oneself. Be true to yourself. This is always but especially here, or you could steam plow yourself into a situation by yourself.

Tomorrow may be too late..... Step 11

We are on day 11 of our happiness series....  Things we need to let go of to be happy....

11. Procrastination

Stop thinking you will finally get to whatever task is at hand tomorrow. Live in the present, and get your sh*t done when it needs to be done. Maximize your time to the best of your ability. Complete each task you need to as soon as you can. This allows you to feel free from worry and stress by getting things out of the way as soon as possible. You also allow yourself more free time to enjoy the things you love.

Who remembers Wimpy from Popeye?

I’ll Gladly Pay You Tuesday for a Hamburger Today

First off, this dude always got on my nerves. I always used to tell my mom, "He ain't gonna paaaay!" lol. And he didn't .  Wimpy was our childhood,...well some of us..childhood lesson on procrastination.  Don't put off to tomorrow what you can do today.

Procrastination is like a credit card: it's a lot of fun until you get the bill.
Christopher Parker 

I am a procrastinator. I like to tell people I work best under pressure.  : / Truth of the matter is, I procrastinate because I am a perfectionist. Well if you are a perfectionist, it means everything has to be perfect right? RIGHT, which means I don't complete things until the last minute, why? Because i want to make sure it's PERFECT. Womp womp womp!  

This picture says it all. Not the only reasons one might procrastinate, but covers most of the bases. You are lazy and put things off until the last minute. You put it off because you are afraid of rejection, or failing. You put it off because you keep amending and modifying it until you have it 'perfect'. The scholars call procrastination 'research' :)

“You may delay, but time will not.” 
― Benjamin Franklin

So, tips on how to manage being a procrastinator..

#7 was a good one for me. Rome wasn't built in a day. The world wasn't formed within a few minutes. I don't have to feel like I have to complete everything all at once, as long as I am moving forward that is progress.  
#4 is also a great tip to implement. We usually put things off when we promise it to ourselves, but if we make it known that we are supposed to take care of something, the task carries a bit more weight. Have your friends check you on it. Notice I said FRIENDS. Don't give that responsibility to just anyone.

"Someday is not a day of the week." ~Author Unknown

TODAY'S CHALLENGE - We sometimes procrastinate because we don't know where to start and everything feels overwhelming. So try this..First thing in the morning, don't get on facebook, don't read your email, don't grab coffee...well maybe do that, but directly after, sit down and write down a list of things you need to do that day. Prioritize them and then work off the list. See how many things you can mark off the list before the day is over. Prioritizing in this manner is like logging your food, for those of you who do this. You never know how much you eat unless you write it down. Same with tasks. You may SEEM busy, but busy doing what? Liking posts on facebook? Reading my blog? lol

'Get er done' - Larry the Cable Guy

Anything but a carry on will have a fee...Step 12

We are on day 12 of our happiness series....  Things we need to let go of to be happy....

12. Your Baggage

We have all been hurt one time or another by someone we loved, or we thought we loved. Carrying negative feelings into future relationships will only prove to be disastrous. No two people are the same, so it’s unfair to hold a future partner to a standard set by an ex. Try to begin each new relationship with a clean slate.

Definitions  

noun

1. (pejorative) the feelings you have about your past and the things that have happened to you, which often have a negative effect on your behaviour and attitudes

The important part of this definition is the last part...'often have a negative effect on your behaviour and attitudes'

We all have baggage. We cannot help that. We all have a past. It is how this baggage affects us that makes it a good or bad thing. We have this exercise in kettlebell that we do call a suitcase squat. The foundation of the move is a squat of course and you have two kettelebells, one in each hand.  You squat down until the kettlebells touch the floor and then you stand back up, but you keep the kettelebells in your hands. The move simulates picking up a suitcase, except in this case, you never put it down.  This is your baggage. We walk around carrying all the burdens from our past, and instead of squatting and putting them down, we carry them around with us. It starts to get heavy, and we start to take it out on people around us, making them uncomfortable, judging them and making them 'pay' for something that had nothing to do with them to begin with. 

The past has no power to stop you from being present now. Only your grievance about the past can do that. What is grievance? The baggage of old thought and emotion. - Lao Tzu

How many times have we sat and acted a certain way toward someone not because that person did anything to warrant the behavior but because we were hurt previously and are wanting to prevent it from happening again.  #guilty

Emotional baggage is all about fear – Fear of repeating mistakes; fear of hurt being inflicted upon you and fear of being blindsided again by whatever travesty you lived through previously. While fear is a very real and very human emotion, it can be totally debilitating, taking a healthy relationship full of possibilities and halting it under the weight of your memories.

TODAY'S CHALLENGE

This exercise is borrowed from Allison Cohen, M.A., MFT , (www.lifeissuespschotherapy.com). I thought this would be a beneficial exercise in working out the demons of our past. 

Start writing and leave that baggage on the carousel

Not only do you deserve to live “ghost” free, your partner deserves a clean slate and the opportunity to show you who they really are, away from the negative comparisons of relationships past. But how to do just that?

Take out a piece of paper and write down all of the fact-based evidence that proves that this relationship and this partner are different from other dynamics and situations you have experienced. Write down every detail as to how this person and partnership differ (and I mean every detail). When you feel anxious, review this list, take a deep breath and choose to believe in these facts and this logic. Through this process, you essentially re-write the negative code in your head and begin a healthier, more realistic internal dialogue that will keep that “baggage” on the carousel and away from your relationship.

Bare in mind, if you don’t actively (and frequently) work this routine, you will be trapped by the emotion (perpetuated by the fear) and spiral into irrational and damaging protective mechanisms that will quash any future you have with your current love.

“What we think, we become,” - Buddha

Are you my judge?...Day 14

We are on day 14 of our happiness series....  Things we need to let go of to be happy....

Let go of....

14. Judgmental Thoughts

Why do people feel the need to constantly worry about what is going on in other people’s lives? If we spent as much time worrying about our own behaviors as we do worrying about those of others, our lives would be a whole lot more meaningful. You have no idea what is going on in another person’s life, so who are you to pass judgment on the way they act?

“Be curious, not judgmental.” – Walt Whitman

This one is one of my favorites.  I find that I judge people when I am in two situations...I am either JEALOUS of what they have or I am SCARED of doing it myself.
Jealousy we touched on previously right? You see how these all seem to come back around to each other? We don't have, so we downplay someone else's game. Haaaaterz....
Fearful...this one can be interesting. Let's say you have a friend that is trying out a new venture. Financial, physical, mental, whatever, something that is not the usual for them.  Something that takes them out of their comfort zone, but something that could potentially be better for them. They should be fearful, but sometimes, so are we. It may take them away from us. It may really make them a better person, and then what does that mean about me? Maybe this something is something I ALSO need to improve on and I don't want to. So...what do we do? We criticize it. We make it sound stupid. All of a sudden it doesn't make sense....And we're the 'friend'.

Excerpt from Positive Provocations
http://positiveprovocations.com/2012/01/15/how-to-be-non-judgmental-of-yourself-and-others/

Why do we judge others? Isnt it really the easy way out? We much rather judge others than look at our own issues. Its the perfect cover. It makes us feel superior, like as if we were better than them and that temporarily makes us feel good.  Least do we realize, we are only dwelling deeper into the abyss of negativity with this action.

Here is something to chew on...

"Judgment is what we add to discernment when we make a comparison (implicit or explicit) between how things or people are and how we think they ought to be. So, in judgment, there’s an element of dissatisfaction with the way things are and a desire to have things be the way we want them to be."
Tiny Buddha - http://tinybuddha.com/blog/why-judging-people-makes-us-unhappy/

I had to re read this a few times and really marinate on it. ...'we make a comparison between how things or people ARE and how we think they OUGHT to be...'  Now, this is powerful, because the question is, Who tha hell are you? Why is it that you get to decide how things OUGHT to be?? JUDGEMENT is you pushing your predetermined thoughts and standards on the world. Oh, excuse me....I forgot who you are. : /

Excerpt http://www.3ho.org/3ho-lifestyle/healthy-happy-holy-lifestyle/happy/five-ways-get-rid-judgment-meditation-inner

5 WAYS TO GET RID OF JUDGEMENT

1. Don’t Assume You Know Someone’s Story

Often we project our own self-judgments onto others. For example if someone does not seem to be working as hard as everyone else we assume that person is lazy, lesser than and not deserving of our respect.  We cannot know another person’s unique experience – it is impossible.  Best to take your particular judgment and bring it back to yourself because it is really only about you. In the above example, that person’s ego is identified with being ‘a hard worker’ and will value himself only when they work.

2. Let Life Come to You

In the Aquarian Age, we are shifting our reliance on Time and Space – in the Piscean Age we had to go out and get what we needed.  Now what we need comes to us through magnetic frequency. Have you noticed when you stick to this old way of doing life – that you become exhausted and nothing works anyway? This new way of being is very upsetting to  the mind and you will hear a tirade of panicky judgmental thoughts with the sole purpose of  keeping you under its control. This is part of the process of the changeover.  Trust that your magnetic frequency is bringing everything you need even as you read this.

2. Do Not Believe What You Think

The mind is like a computer – it is constantly measuring and comparing –   it works with contrasts – this or that.  You are not your mind – you are the eternal witness of your mind. Do not identify and attach to thoughts, opinions and the ego’s need to be right.  In fact those thoughts and opinions may not even be yours – inherited from your ancestors or you may be just picking up other free floating thoughts from your co-workers, neighbors – strangers on the street.

3. Stop Should-ing all over yourself

Judgment’s power word is should. Go deeper to explore your unique should -  it often means you are seeking approval from an outside source such as a parent, authority figure or your community.  Start to seek approval only from your higher consciousness. This is your Life –  it is time to stop living someone else’s dream and trying to please everyone.

5. The Secret Antidote to Judgment

The secret antidote for judgment is acceptance. This is 100% acceptance of yourself and where you are in your life in this moment.  When you bring this kind of acceptance to yourself – it will raise the vibrational frequency around you.  If you fully embrace this moment in time, you will notice that you have everything you need.   When you completely accept yourself, you won’t have to try and effort to accept others – you will naturally be accepting of others.

TODAY'S CHALLENGE - Let's walk around today without passing judgement on anyone..Remember, acceptance is the key. Just strangers not even people we know. It's Sunday and a church day for some of you....lol..PERFECT.

“People hasten to judge in order not to be judged themselves.” 
― Albert Camus, The Fall