Rebel without a Cause....

a rebel without a cause

phrase of cause

noun: rebel without a cause

1. 1.

   a person who is dissatisfied with society but does not have a specific aim to fight for.

“He who has a why to live for can bear almost any how.” 
― Friedrich Nietzsche

I have this shirt that, upon purchase, was enticing more for the design than the word. It was loose, hung off my shoulder and was open in the back. Very different and fitting both for my personality, and the front of the shirt. REBEL.  'Someone who resists or defies authority, or the status quo. '

I recently took some much needed downtime and travelled to California. Not my first trip to the state, but my first time in the LA area.  I needed a break, so this trip was scheduled immediately following a big fitness show we participated in in NYC.  During this trip, I really wanted to reflect on myself and obtain some 'answers'...LIFE answers. Usually people have a specific question they need answered. Although, I thought to myself I needed to sort things out, I am not really certain I could lay out the 'things' I needed sorted for someone to help me.  What I did know was I felt uneasy, restless, and lacking. Lacking purpose,...lacking direction....lacking peace  I didn't feel calm. Like I was trying to be still in a bottle someone would continually shake up,..and loudly. It was noisy. In my head...my surroundings,....I couldn't get away from the constant buzz. 

I ran everyday. These were the quietest moments on my trip and the only time I could really shut everything out and think on nothing, and everything. Every morning, I took a run to the water and would just run. Run until it entered my head that I was tired, or I would recognize that the sun was peeping out and people were beginning their day. In that silence, I would listen intently, for a sign...a word. Nothing. 

One day, I had stopped at a Starbucks for coffee and decided to sit there to finish my beverage before heading to the hotel. An older gentleman had taken a seat at one of the 'community' type tables next to mine. I had gotten up to grab something at the counter and when I returned he asked me what my shirt meant. 

'What do you mean?' I asked. 'Why are you wearing that shirt?' He asked. 'Surely, you purchased that shirt to make some sort of statement. What does it mean?'  

I laughed. 'I don't do things the normal way'.  Now HE laughed. ' I like that', he replies. And so my conversation with Luigi began. Luigi, an Italian immigrant who moved to the now Rodondo Beach area as a young man in 1972 and made what he could work for work, work, until he happened upon the trade of carpentry and construction. I sat and spoke with this man for an hour as he continued to lay nugget upon nugget on the table about his life experiences and what's REALLY important in life. He said so much, I told him he should blog little quotes and thoughts each day. I should have recorded him and done it for him. This man still owned a flip phone. lol.  

During our conversation, he would continually ask me why and what do YOU think. Why, why why. What I realized in our discussion was I was the noise. I am the noise, I am the distraction, I am the person shaking up my bottle. The buzz is mine and the voices are me. I move. I am active. I don't sit still, but I'm looking for peace? And when I have silence,...I run. When I had time every morning to listen, I plugged in headphones, and ran, waiting for THE VOICE to drown out the tunes flowing into my ears, and disappointed when I went back to my room without THE ANSWER. What I asked for was a truth that required me to stop and look at myself and deep down, I don't have a complete happiness with the image.

I celebrated a birthday recently. With that came my subconscious mind reflecting on where I've been, what I've done, what I lack, and where I should be. This year, it required a lot more embracing. Who I am,  AND who IS that? What I want, and how that's changed. Where I want to be, live and even who I want to be with and keep in my circle. 

When I started writing, I wrote with the intention of emptying my brain. I wanted the remaining contents to come together and formulate a complete picture that made sense. It rarely happens the way you want right? Although my step by step guide didn't fall from the sky and bounce off my desk, a determination to make things DIFFERENT did.  Making steps towards my whats and eliminating the who's and whats that are not a part of that process. 

A few months ago, I blogged from my last trip in Florida and I mentioned that sometimes you have to leave things behind. Don't be afraid to let things go. I took a picture of an old and very beat up pair of sneakers that I LEFT in Florida. Since then, I had a new pair of sneakers, and although I only had them 3 months, they too are ragged, torn, and ready to be replaced. I took another picture, and left these sneakers in California, but not for the same underlying thought. When I purchased this pair, I got them to get me by, and not because they were the best pair for me. I had my old pair for almost 6 months, and although that is too long to keep a pair of sneakers that you utilize regularly, they maintained for most of that time, because they were a good pair. 

The sneakers I left in Cali

So I left yet another pair, not only to let go, but to find something better, something that will last, and take care of me. I will take the time to find a pair that nurtures that, and not settle on something to 'get me by'.  

Here's to not just getting by. 

Here's to not running. 

Here's to standing still, looking forward with my eyes open, and still being able to embrace the image before me. 

“It is not enough to be industrious; so are the ants. What are you industrious about?"

[Letter to Harrison Blake; November 16, 1857]” 
― Henry David Thoreau, Letters to Various Persons

Some things are not meant to RESSURECT

I had the opportunity recently to take some time away from my everyday for a little R and R.  I made a few local trips last year but none that weren't related to a show, and none for me. So, this was the first time I had actually gotten out in over a year. I decided earlier in the year that this was necessary and one day just booked a trip. I saw a few ticket prices to Miami and I have never been to Florida.  Those that know me know that Miami is not really my speed for 'relaxing', so I booked the trip instead, to Ft Lauderdale with the thinking that if I wanted to get into something crazy, I would take the short drive to Miami.  The trip came faster than I knew but immediately after my first show of the year, so I was excited to be able to get away.   

During this time, relaxing was the main thing but I also wanted to reflect on things in my life, where I was, and just reset emotionally, mentally, etc.  There were two main things I wanted to share that left the most impact on me during those few days.

THE SUN RISES for EVERYONE

I went running every morning on the beach before breakfast. There was one morning I went to the beach right across the street from my hotel. Another morning, I biked further south, at least 5-7 miles first, before I began my run. When I entered the beach in both instances, the sun looked the same. It was centered in the background shining on the long expansion of sand to my left and right.  I know how the universe works, but for some reason, I was expecting it to be further up or out of my view because I had moved further along the beach. lol. 

Sometimes, we get hung up on feeling badly because we don't have what we need or we don't think we have enough.  Most of the time we have what we need. We just decide to 'sleep in' and with your hustle from day to day, you miss the basic things that are always there for you.  Take the time to reflect on the quiet and the people, friends, family, situations, etc that have always been there for you. The people and situations that are your rock don't usually change, because they ARE consistent. Don't establish your base with people or things that don't have roots. When you need to come back to them, they need to be there, unconditionally and ready to rejuvenate you. Choose who falls into this bucket wisely. 

LETTING GO does not mean GIVING UP

I love being outdoors, and I love the sun. I can put good use into a pair of sneakers when the weather is right. Last summer, I bought my first pair of Brooks, which is a really great brand of running shoe.  I did an impulse purchase actually, because I was supposed to go to boot camp outdoors with one of my trainers, and I forgot to pack my sneakers. I stopped off at the first running store I found but it was a great store. They tested my running pattern on a treadmill to determine which sneaker would work best. I found that I  have a neutral gait but apparently a choosy color selection because every color I chose, they did not have. lol. So, LITERALLY 7 pairs later, I found a color I could wear every day. 

Now, you are supposed to change out your sneakers almost as often as you change your oil in your car depending on how much you run. Every 3000 miles or every 3 months. During the summer, I can run at least 4 days a week. By August, I should have been ready for new shoes. THEY WERE SO COMFORTABLE. I even had someone send me new ones for Christmas, but I continued to wear my old shoes. One day, someone in class says, ' Are those your socks?'  I looked down at my shoes, and sure enough, my toe was poking out of the side. lol. Ah, I think it's really time to let go.  

While I was in FL, I took one last picture, posted above, as a final farewell.  I knew I wouldn't NOT wear them unless I didn't have them. What better place to bury my shoes than the sunny state of Florida.   We do this in life too, right? Sometimes, you outgrow things, people, situations. Sometimes, things in your life just need to be replaced.  You've had them too long, or they are no longer useful to you in the capacity you had originally intended. No longer GOOD for you, no matter how USED to them you have gotten.  But we hang on to it, because we're used to it. It still feels ok, for the most part.  It feels ok because we're used to the feeling and we are afraid the 'new pair' will hurt our feet. 

When I finally put on the new pair, my ankles hurt and my shins were sore. NOT because these were bad shoes, but because I wore the OLD shoes too long. The new shoes had to correct what bad posture I had established in a pair of shoes I should have let go of a long time ago. There will be growing pains. There is PAIN when you have GROWTH, but you have to move forward, let go, and sometimes, go through a little discomfort to finally come to a better place.

These are my sneakers by the trash at the hotel. Even looking at this makes me a little sad.  

Courage is a choice. Choose courage over fear. 

Are you destined for more than death...?

des·ti·ny

ˈdestinē/

noun

noun: destiny; plural noun: destinies

1. 1.

   the events that will necessarily happen to a particular person or thing in the future.

   "she was unable to control her own destiny"

   • the hidden power believed to control what will happen in the future; fate.

     "he believes in destiny"

   
   

1. 
   

   fate

   fāt/

   noun

   1. 1.

      the development of events beyond a person's control, regarded as determined by a supernatural power.

   
   

   I had a situation occur today with my keys that made me think on fate and destiny. I noticed before it was 'too late', that I was missing my door key and was able to find it prior to reaching my apartment. When I did reach my apartment, the key didn't work anyways. I was fortunate enough to have been able to buzz a neighbor who came down to let me in and we realized someone in the building had locked the front door from the inside.  I guess it was just meant for me to be locked out.

Which brings me to my question...FATE. Can we avoid it? Can we control it? Are there certain things that are just DESTINED to happen?  That no matter how hard you try to make something work, make things happen, change a circumstance, it will come back to what was 'supposed' to happen in the first place.  How many times have you made all the necessary adjustments to make sure a certain circumstance didn't occur and it happened anyways?

Do you remember the choose your own adventure books? I used to love reading these books because I felt like I had some control as to how the story would end.  You had these different instances throughout the story where you had to choose between different scenarios. The scenarios would take you to a different page where the story would continue and it would proceed in that fashion until you ended the story, hopefully still alive but sometimes in a sticky situation by the end.  If you were anything like me, while reading I would choose but kind of 'peek' at the page to see if that was an acceptable route to take before I would continue. lol. We don't exactly have that option in life.

I found this cover, and it made me chuckle but think...'What if no matter WHAT choice you made, the outcome would always be the same. What would you do differently ?' If I were going to die no matter what I chose, how would I go about reading the book. I mean, would I even READ it at all? Would I be more reckless in my choices? More valiant in my efforts as a hero? 

I ran across another interesting theory:

I currently believe that, in a sense, we cannot make a choice, any choice, other than what we are destined to make. 
Imagine having a clone of our universe, IE: plants, animals, weather, Humans, even the experiences, thoughts, memories, synapses of all brains, down to the atomic level etc, .but neither Universe is aware of the others existence. 
Then if we could "pause" both universes and "play" at the same time where they would be in complete sync, same cloud, same raindrops, same falling leaf, same decisions being made, same thoughts etc from both Universes. 
Would not both "Worlds" continue to run in sync ? 
I propose that they would continue in sync since decisions are made solely on information taken in previously and or situations which we find ourselves.
Then if we paused "Universe A" and allowed "Universe B" to continue to run for 100 years before "playing Universe A" would not Universe A have to follow the exact path that took place in Universe B? If not, then why not?
I think, if the above is true, that EVERY decision we make is the ONLY ONE we can make as it is based on the things around us, and also previous thoughts and experiences, since this is all we have "to go on" when making a decision.
And since these 2 universes are not dependent on each other, would the fact that one does not really exist change this concept any?".....
Not that there is something or someone controlling what we do, just that we have to make THAT choice based on ALL information being presented to us and making any other choice other than that one, is impossible, unless i'm wrong in my thinking.

http://www.ted.com/conversations/6105/are_we_bound_by_destiny_or_c.html

So, this isn't necessarily saying we don't HAVE a choice. We make our own choices, but it's saying because of how your situation is laid out, you will only make CERTAIN choices. It's like you are in a certain environment with a certain background, personality, circumstances, etc. Because this already exists, you are only going to choose a certain way because everything within your specific situation is too unique to do differently.

So, what do you think?

If you knew that no matter what you chose in life, you would always have the same outcome, how would you live your life differently?  Is YOUR story already written?

1. 
   

Will you be there...?

I have a group of ladies that are on a 10 week challenge to get into a bikini! For some of you, you are probably like what's the big deal, I go to nude beaches. lol. Some people have never worn a bikini, IN LIFE! Can you imagine that? There are people you see at the beach in shorts and a tee and that is the most stripped down they will be in public. So, THIS is a huge step for some of these ladies, and for some a note able shift in their lives.  I don't want to focus on that, just yet. What I want to talk to you about is commitment. The long haul. The after, after. I told the ladies that I want their COMMITMENT, not their EXCITEMENT.

I love it when people say they are excited about something, don't you?! ' OMG I'm so excited about *fill in the blank*. I can't wait to do *fill in the blank*. Oh this time I"m gonna ' FILL..IN ...THE ...BLANK'
Then what happens? You ask them about it later and they are equally UNEXCITED about what they were ECSTATIC about in the beginning. Back to the challenge. Sure, I needed the excitement in the beginning. The excitement brings about the decision to act. EXCITMENT is an emotion. I can be excited about something today, and HATE (another emotion) something tomorrow. If we were required to grant refunds on emotion, I would not make any money. But, once people commit something they think is substantial, ie money, then they are more willing to complete the task they promised at the inception. It's funny that our WORD isn't substantial enough.

I am speaking on exercise but this applies to life. Your 'new year's resolutions' to workout and get in better shape, and lose weight and lack thereof after  2 weeks at a meager attempt to keep a consistent schedule is no different than the 'moves' you're going to make to get a new job, or the lack luster attempt you make at  working at your relationship. Only then, to blame the failure on some outlier when your heart, determination and motivation weren't there in the beginning. Why do we say we want these things ? Because we really DO want these things. Why don't we follow through? Fear of failure? Fear of what's next? Fear of success even. Self sabotage? Sometimes the next steps to the success requires some change from you that you fear. Laziness? Fear of extra work? We don't want to risk being hurt whether it be our hearts, or our ego. You see, most people expect you to fail. It's so much easier to fall into everyone's expectations of being less than your full potential. Really think about that. How many people do you have in your immediate circle that push you to do more than you dream? What's the first thing a lot of people say to your desires or goals? 'That won't work' ' Oh a friend of mine did that and didn't like it' 'You've never been able to do that. What makes you think that will work now?' ' Oh well good luck, but you know how you are'  Be careful who you reach out to for 'advise' or confirmation. Your 'friends' are sometimes the worst comforters with their 'honest' opinions.

What do you want to do today? Then do it, and stick with it. Not tomorow. Not next week. Not when you feel better. Not when it stops snowing....

Write it down, slap that bitch on your wall...and own it.

If I only had .... then, life would be PERFECT....Really? Step 5.....

We are on day 5 of our happiness series....  Things we need to let go of to be happy....

5. Perfect Life

Just like there is no perfect partner, there is also not a perfect life. Life is what you put into it, so if you are not willing to work hard and put forth effort, you will most likely end up miserable. The choices you make will directly reflect the life you lead. It is up to you to create the best possible world for yourself.

I remember my wedding. I'm not married now, but I've been married before and I planned the entire function myself. I have an incredible amount of respect for people who coordinate these things for a living. It is INSANE. It has so many moving parts and detail. It involves not only dealing with many different people, businesses and places but notifications, deadlines,personalities, traditions, etc. A ton of work over sometimes years for , sometimes, no more than a 20 minute ceremony. The rest is just a party and who doesn't know how to do that. I  still laugh when I hear people say they want the perfect wedding. That my friend is a SETUP for failure. There is no such thing. Someone's kid will start to cry and not go down the aisle. Someone will show up late. Someone will forget to bring something. SOMEONE will do SOMETHING. There is just too much going on. Previously we had expressed how it's important not to place expectations on people.  This is the same thing, on a grander scale. Don't place your expectations on life. As the saying goes, it is, what it is.

When you really believe the above, you really do slow down and appreciate things for what they are.  You cannot change what has happened.  Once life has played out, you take it as it comes and roll with the punches.  Everything happens for a reason, and sometimes, those reasons are not the most evident or will never be made clear. Or, get this, may have nothing to do with you. Sometimes that something is not meant for us to figure out. So what am I saying? I am saying your life is what you put into it. It may not play out the way you want but if you live it to its' fullest, you have no regrets. Love alot, laugh alot, give alot, work hard, play hard, and believe that ever day is that perfect day, because it was as it should have been.

Don't place that expectation on yourself, on your surroundings, on your friends and don't let OTHERS place that expectation on you. You will begin to realize we all have this coded set of rules we live by. We acquired from OUR friends, our family, our environment, etc. A set of rules that everyone SURELY must also live by because we all grew up in the same house right? Wrong. Get it? Everyone's perfect is not the same. My perfect may be a peanut butter and jelly sandwich and a glass of milk on a balcony by the beach, which I LOVE all aspects of that statement, btw. LOL. Someone else may hate peanut butter. Someone else may not like sand. Someone else may be afraid of heights, but I shouldn't look at them differently because they feel that way, nor they to me. We go day to day living a life with different people and different lifestyles and backgrounds and expect things to all come together in this perfect ball for US? We aren't even the only ones HERE. Gives a whole nother meaning to thinking the world revolves around us.

I like this quote, but I am probably interpreting it differently than it was meant. My own interpretation of this is not for a particular person. I don't have to have a particular someone around for life to be perfect. I think that can be dangerous to be in that space. People will not always be around physically, mentally or emotionally for you. You cannot base your livelihood on others. BUT, I believe this says that you should appreciate those that are around when they are. Every moment you have with people you truly want to be around you should appreciate those moments. You are not promised those moments or moments after that. If you believe that those moments are perfect moments you won't spend them arguing about the little things. Being upset or mad about simple things. Life is too short. People die every day all over the world. You woke up this morning. I know this because you are reading my words. I guarantee you someone somewhere didn't. Can you imagine how that would be if you woke up, and realized someone you just saw yesterday didn't? Don't wake up wishing you had.....You can't go back.

TODAY'S CHALLENGE - This is a task that isn't really a to do or reflective. I am wishing you the best day ever. I want you to go out and look at the world through rose colored lenses. I want to walk out your door and smile at the first person you see. I want you to PURPOSELY have a GREAT DAY. WHY NOT? How many times have we walked out the door and thought, this is going to be a bad day, and IT WAS. YOU are a direct reflection of your thoughts and your mind can bring your thoughts to life. REMEMBER that. You walk your thoughts. When you are thinking while you walk you are distracted. When you reflect on good things you smile, without even thinking about it. When you breathe in life, you emulate joy. Be joyful...And see how many people want to be around you.

HAPPY PERFECT WEDNESDAY!!!

Don't Just Talk about it, BE about it....Step 8.

We are on day 8 of our happiness series....  Things we need to let go of to be happy....

8. The Idea That Good Fortune Will Arrive At Your Doorstep

You need to go out into the world and actively look for fulfillment. You cannot take a backseat in life and expect things to happen for you. Appreciate the life you live, and be grateful for what you have. Value each minute of every day. Live like there’s no tomorrow, and make the most out of any situation.

Sometimes, I believe this comes from fear of not wanting to go out and be rejected. Sometimes, I think this comes from flat out not knowing what you want.  This applies to everything and anything.  It you aren't getting what you need from that job, what do you want exactly? Waiting on that 'soulmate'? What does that person have that you want or are looking for in a mate.  Do you know what that is? It's like going to the grocery store hungry, and without a list. You will just pick up everything, waste your money, and your time. Know what you want.

I remember a story I was told once in church about a man that was caught in a flood. Instead of leaving his home, he thought to himself, the Lord will take care of me and stayed in his home. The water started to rise, so the man moved to the top floors of his house and eventually his roof, as this was the only dry part of his house. A man in a boat rowed by to pick him up, and he stated , ' Go without me. The Lord will save me.' So, the boat left. As the water continued to rise, a helicopter flew over the roof. They lowered a ladder to the man, and again the man stated, 'Don't worry! The Lord will save me. I have prayed and am waiting on God.'  Well, eventually, the water covered the roof and the man drowned. He died and went to heaven and was standing at the gates waiting on his chance to speak with God, because CLEARLY, he had some questions. When he reached God, the first thing he asked was,' WHY did you let me die? I prayed and waited for You to save me and You let me drown.'  To which God replied, 'I sent a boat, AND a helicopter to save you. What were you waiting on? A personal invitation?'

Sometimes, we are expecting this royal treatment into things, like we are owed. Or we won't accept things unless they are given a certain way. You never know where something or someone can lead you. If you are presented something that is not exactly as you had hoped, make the most of it. You don't know where it can lead.  We cannot control circumstances, but we CAN control our reactions to them.

So many of us are waiting. Waiting on that perfect 'blank blank blank'. Job, spouse, school, team, situation, circumstance, .... In the meantime, we are turning away other opportunities or people, disregarding their value when you could be turning away what was meant for you all along. Or,we sit and complain about that situation, or person, or circumstance, and instead of making the most of it, making a change to make it better, or getting out of it,we sit around and wait for SOMETHING to make things better. Things don't just HAPPEN. Relationships require work. Work requires work. When you want something to work, you put in the work to make it work. 

Some people want it to happen, some wish it would happen, others make it happen.

Michael Jordan

It may not always come in a pretty box. It may take time. It may take blood and tears. It may take a day or years. Regardless of how it gets there, don't take your chances betting on it getting there by some magic notion. If you want it, go get it.

TODAY'S CHALLENGE:

Where do you start? Well, first off, you START. Here are a few steps I found on Brazen Life.

http://blog.brazencareerist.com/2013/07/05/4-steps-to-creating-the-life-you-want-and-deserve/

1. Stop wondering what you want and figure it out right now

You may not even know what you want out of your life. Think about it: When is the last time you sat down and did some heavy soul-searching to figure out what you want? Been awhile, eh?

That soul-searching is the one-way ticket to understanding what you want out of your life—so get to it, immediately. Understanding what you really want will help to make you happier and more fulfilled… and who wouldn’t want that?

Tip: Call up your best friend and ask them to help you articulate what you really want. Then write up your vision for an ideal life. Leave nothing out.

2. Create bold, out-of-your-comfort-zone goals

What’s the point of being on this journey if you’re not going to be bold?

Now, I’m not saying you have to do anything irresponsible or dangerous. I’m saying you should be daring. You should be ambitious. You should feel scared. Your goals should feel audacious, and you should know that you achieved more out of life. This starts with creating goals for yourself that may be out of your comfort zone.

Tip: Start small. If your goal is to be the President, you don’t throw yourself into a political campaign, do you? You outline how you’re going to get yourself to that level and take the steps necessary to get there. Same goes for your goal. Pick one thing you can do today and do it. Then choose the next one and keep going.

3. Muster up some confidence to drive you to take action

Confidence is a key element to flipping your system. You’ll find that when you muster the confidence to move ahead with your bold goals, you’ll let go of your fears and your vulnerabilities. Plus, when you start having more conviction in yourself, you’ll discover strategies to fill in any confidence gaps that have kept you in the passenger seat of your own life.

Tip: If you’re having confidence problems, find out why. Is it because your goals are bold and you’re scared? Is it because you don’t know where to start? Perhaps you just need someone to help push you in the right direction. Whatever the reason, raising your awareness is half the battle. Taking action to correct it is the other half.

4. Take charge and do the work

No one is going to do the work for you. Sad, but true.

When you’re making major life transformations, getting up and running is key. Any good design takes more than a couple practice rounds—and so does creating the big, exciting, amazing life you deserve. In the end, you are responsible for finding and creating your own happiness in this life. Don’t lose that momentum! Take charge, get out, be your own driver and move forth with the confidence of knowing you can be great.

Tip: If you get this far and drop down, you’re screwed. Find some tenacity! Don’t procrastinate, because if you do, you’re in the same position as you were when you started this journey. And, quite clearly, that’s not where you wanted to be.

You deserve an extraordinary life. I know that, you know that, the world knows that. You just have to take the right steps in order to get there. So keep the above in mind when you begin your journey. Figure out what you want, set specific goals, muster up some confidence and take charge of your life. You got this! Now get to work!

What you say you are, you will be..Step 16

We are on day 16 of our happiness series....  Things we need to let go of to be happy....

Let go of...

16. Insecurity

Happy people tend to have extremely high levels of self-esteem. They accept who they are and work at it everyday of their lives. They radiate confidence, flaunt their pride and give off positive vibes. There is no reason to be insecure in life. If there are things you are self-conscious about, go out into the world and seek to change them. Only you have the ability to create the best version of yourself.

What we have to realize is that we tend to have insecurities about things WE manifest and nurture in our minds and eventually in our physical. We sometimes like to blame our insecurites and self esteem issues on other people, and although some people may mention things or do things that may initiate certain thoughts within us, we decide how we digest and nurture those thoughts. YOU alone decide if you feel fat, ugly, incompetent, worthless, pretty, etc...No one else makes that determination.

I love this quote. I feel it's so true. Take a look at who you spend most of your time meditating on in your mind and who you spend most of your personal time trying to please. Sometimes we are so anxious to please those that aren't happy with who we are, that we 1. miss out on the people who truly matter and really love us, and 2. we continue to dig a deeper and deeper whole reiterating our lack of self worth, and level of who we are.  Other people are quick to point out things that are wrong with others...Ever stop to think that maybe, just maybe, there's nothing wrong with you at all? 

I found this list in an article in the HUFFINGTON Post. http://www.huffingtonpost.ca/2013/02/07/boost-your-self-esteem_n_2632824.html

10 Things you can do now to improve your self esteem. It starts with you...Not anyone else. The word says it ..SELF esteem. OTHERS will think of you and treat you the way YOU allow.

1. Stop comparing yourself to others. Trying to live up to or exceed someone else’s personal best is a losing game. As the saying goes, “How boring would it be if we were all the same?” Focus on being the best you that you can be.

2. Compliment yourself regularly, either by looking in the mirror and saying something you like about yourself or writing it in a journal. Many times, we’re quick to compliment others on their success but hesitate to do the same for ourselves.

3. Exercise consistently, at least 30 minutes of exercise several times a week, to strengthen muscles and to burn calories. Improve your physical strength, and you may feel a sense of empowerment that can dramatically enhance your self-esteem.

4. Simply smile. The mere act of smiling changes blood flow to the brain and can actually makes you feel happier and relieve tension. A smile sets off chemical and physical reactions within your mind and body, releasing endorphins that boost your mood.

5. Focus on your accomplishments. Forgive yourself for mistakes and focus on the positive by celebrating your victories. Consider writing them down so you can review and reflect when you’re feeling down and need to renew your confidence.

6. Get the support you need to succeed. Join a weight-loss support group, like TOPS, which can help you to stay on track to accomplish your wellness goals. Fellow members will help keep you motivated.

7. Make a list of your positive qualities. Are you generous? Kind? Write down at least ten positive qualities about yourself and return to this list as often as needed to boost your morale.

8. Find something special in each day. Even if it’s in a small way, do something pleasant and rewarding, like catching up on your favorite television show, taking a walk to the park, or indulging in a bubble bath. Or treat yourself to something small that isn’t a food or beverage, like a manicure or a new piece of costume jewelry.

9. Eat better. Pay attention to your food choices and nourish your body. Buy healthier foods and prepare well-balanced meals that will help give you energy and feel like your best self – not sluggish and overstuffed.

10. Explore a passion. Whether it’s a side job, hobby, or as a volunteer, pursuing your passion in even a small way can lead to a sense of purpose and significantly improve your overall happiness and quality of life.

I am ending with this quote because I LOVE IT. It's so true. Why do we give so much value to other's opinions of us? Why are others the experts ? When and why do we allow that kind of power?

“Why should we worry about what others think of us, do we have more confidence in their opinions than we do our own?”― Brigham Young

TODAY's Challenge - I like #7, because clearly, I like lists. Make a list of positive things about yourself, and post it somewhere. Remind yourself daily of the great person you are and the things you contribute to your friends, life and society.