Are you the King of your Jungle?

Lion V Cheetah

Cheetahs..The world's fastest land mammal. It can run at speeds of up to 70 miles an hour, and can cover 23-26 feet in ONE stride.

Lions...Nicknamed the 'King of the Jungle'.  Their roar can be heard up to 5 miles away. The most powerful of all animals and fearless. 

As I was working out today, I was looking at one of the televisions above the stair master.  The screen that caught my eye was on some animal documentary comparing large cats in the wild. This one in particular was comparing cheetahs to lions. Being a Leo, I'm partial to lions. Watching them move within this film was breathtaking and humbling.  A male lion averaging 400-500 pounds, with their amazing manes and staggering stature...it is no wonder adjectives such as majestic, power, courage, and nobility are used often in their descriptions.  

The cheetah was stunning. Graceful, agile, and incredibly fast making its' beauty short lived to those close enough.  Their speed enables them the ability to attack you before you're able to recognize they are even there.

The fastest pitted against the strongest. Why the comparison? When I watched this it reminded me of the question that arose when the Ravens played the Pats some years ago in the super bowl. Who wins super bowls? Offense, or defense? The strongest versus the fastest. I suppose if you are the best at a particular thing within the same 'game' you are going to be compared to the other great thing.

I could go on about the animals separately. It was a fascinating piece. What I found interesting though, was the way the cheetah evened out the match up. You see, if a lion and a cheetah come in contact with one another, the cheetah, of course, can out run a lion...BUT for how long? Eventually, the cheetah needs to come up for air, and the lion then has an opportunity to catch up and pounce. ONCE these two animals are head to head, the cheetah stands NO chance in being able to defend itself. The lion's strength outweighs that of its' 150 pound counterpart, and the cheetah knows this. What do cheetahs do then to keep from becoming extinct at the hands of the lion?  They kill the lion's cubs. Wow. I know I cannot beat you, so I cripple your lineage.

This made me think of a lot of different things, but what I wanted to focus on within this write up is the magnitude of that type of power. Imagine being SO powerful, that people KNOW they would not win if given a chance to challenge you. So, what do they do? They kill your children to keep your legacy from continuing. They take something close to you that weakens your army, and your spirit. They recognize your strength, and utilize a back door method of attack.  We've seen this in history and in movies where great emperors, warriors and leaders who conquered many were attacked through their bloodline. The Gladiator, Braveheart, Jesus... :)

The method of attack and the related item in question that is stolen from you can be related to many things physical or not. Children, family, spouses, money, joy, peace, stability, security,....My thoughts. Am I powerful? Are you powerful? Do people fear you? Not fear as in scared. Fear as in respect. Will you leave a presence that others recognize? A truth they won't question. Do YOU believe in it?

And , what are you leaving behind? Not just in children, family, lineage, but teachings, thoughts, impressions,.. how do you 'touch' people you encounter? Are you king? Or just a predator...

If he only had a brain....Step 4

We are on day 4 of our happiness series....  Things we need to let go of to be happy....

4. Idea Of A Perfect Partner

There is no such thing as a perfect partner, so throw your checklist out the window. In life, what prevents us from moving forward is looking at the perfect image of a partner we concoct in our minds. Find the right person for you: one that you can love with all your heart, one you feel comfortable with and one that accepts you for the person you are. The sooner you realize there isn’t one perfect person out there for you, the better off you will be.

I love Bob Marley. He makes you scratch below the surface and really think about the real stuff. I saw two versions of this. One about the ladies, as it's quoted above and another about the gentlemen. The one I saw for the men had a phrase at the end that caught my eye, " Love hard when there is love to be had. Because perfect guys don't exist, but there is always one guy that is perfect for you."  He had this great way of putting things into perspective. Someone that is perfect for you. The statement makes you take the expectation off your partner. This person that has to look a certain way. Make a certain type of money. Work a certain job.  You have all these different criteria they have to meet and never take the time to truly appreciate that person for who they really are.  We are quick to want to mold people we meet into something they aren't. Maybe someone to impress your friends? Maybe an ex? 

There were a few different lists of ways to 'find' the perfect mate. I didn't agree with too many of them although one list, I thought had an important point.

IDENTIFY your top THREE DEAL BREAKERS

Although I don't think you should go in with a laundry list of criteria, you have to have foundational characteristics or things you want from a relationship that you absolutely MUST have and you will not move on these items. Do you want to get married? Maybe you DON'T want to get married. Does the person have to be religious? Do you want children? Maybe you don't want to deal with someone with their own children.  Define those things, and keep to those when you are 'searching'.  If you don't know what you want, or don't want, you may get it. ;)

TODAY'S CHALLENGE if you didn't see it coming already, and you don't already have it, your list. What are your three deal breakers? You will be amazed at how differently you determine whether or not someone is the person for you, with this list. Share in the comments if you are inclined. Would love to hear what's on some of your list's out there!

What you say you are, you will be..Step 16

We are on day 16 of our happiness series....  Things we need to let go of to be happy....

Let go of...

16. Insecurity

Happy people tend to have extremely high levels of self-esteem. They accept who they are and work at it everyday of their lives. They radiate confidence, flaunt their pride and give off positive vibes. There is no reason to be insecure in life. If there are things you are self-conscious about, go out into the world and seek to change them. Only you have the ability to create the best version of yourself.

What we have to realize is that we tend to have insecurities about things WE manifest and nurture in our minds and eventually in our physical. We sometimes like to blame our insecurites and self esteem issues on other people, and although some people may mention things or do things that may initiate certain thoughts within us, we decide how we digest and nurture those thoughts. YOU alone decide if you feel fat, ugly, incompetent, worthless, pretty, etc...No one else makes that determination.

I love this quote. I feel it's so true. Take a look at who you spend most of your time meditating on in your mind and who you spend most of your personal time trying to please. Sometimes we are so anxious to please those that aren't happy with who we are, that we 1. miss out on the people who truly matter and really love us, and 2. we continue to dig a deeper and deeper whole reiterating our lack of self worth, and level of who we are.  Other people are quick to point out things that are wrong with others...Ever stop to think that maybe, just maybe, there's nothing wrong with you at all? 

I found this list in an article in the HUFFINGTON Post. http://www.huffingtonpost.ca/2013/02/07/boost-your-self-esteem_n_2632824.html

10 Things you can do now to improve your self esteem. It starts with you...Not anyone else. The word says it ..SELF esteem. OTHERS will think of you and treat you the way YOU allow.

1. Stop comparing yourself to others. Trying to live up to or exceed someone else’s personal best is a losing game. As the saying goes, “How boring would it be if we were all the same?” Focus on being the best you that you can be.

2. Compliment yourself regularly, either by looking in the mirror and saying something you like about yourself or writing it in a journal. Many times, we’re quick to compliment others on their success but hesitate to do the same for ourselves.

3. Exercise consistently, at least 30 minutes of exercise several times a week, to strengthen muscles and to burn calories. Improve your physical strength, and you may feel a sense of empowerment that can dramatically enhance your self-esteem.

4. Simply smile. The mere act of smiling changes blood flow to the brain and can actually makes you feel happier and relieve tension. A smile sets off chemical and physical reactions within your mind and body, releasing endorphins that boost your mood.

5. Focus on your accomplishments. Forgive yourself for mistakes and focus on the positive by celebrating your victories. Consider writing them down so you can review and reflect when you’re feeling down and need to renew your confidence.

6. Get the support you need to succeed. Join a weight-loss support group, like TOPS, which can help you to stay on track to accomplish your wellness goals. Fellow members will help keep you motivated.

7. Make a list of your positive qualities. Are you generous? Kind? Write down at least ten positive qualities about yourself and return to this list as often as needed to boost your morale.

8. Find something special in each day. Even if it’s in a small way, do something pleasant and rewarding, like catching up on your favorite television show, taking a walk to the park, or indulging in a bubble bath. Or treat yourself to something small that isn’t a food or beverage, like a manicure or a new piece of costume jewelry.

9. Eat better. Pay attention to your food choices and nourish your body. Buy healthier foods and prepare well-balanced meals that will help give you energy and feel like your best self – not sluggish and overstuffed.

10. Explore a passion. Whether it’s a side job, hobby, or as a volunteer, pursuing your passion in even a small way can lead to a sense of purpose and significantly improve your overall happiness and quality of life.

I am ending with this quote because I LOVE IT. It's so true. Why do we give so much value to other's opinions of us? Why are others the experts ? When and why do we allow that kind of power?

“Why should we worry about what others think of us, do we have more confidence in their opinions than we do our own?”― Brigham Young

TODAY's Challenge - I like #7, because clearly, I like lists. Make a list of positive things about yourself, and post it somewhere. Remind yourself daily of the great person you are and the things you contribute to your friends, life and society.

Step 18 ....Your past is not your Future

Happiness....the 20 Step Series....

Let go of...

18. The Past

Stop living in the past! There is virtually nothing you can gain if you wallow in mistakes you have previously made. Take past mistakes as lessons learned, and move forward. You cannot wholeheartedly move on to a better future if you are constantly looking behind you. Things happened, and that’s that. Take them with a grain of salt and move on.

This story starts with a lady who, by outside appearances comes from a great family, loving siblings and parents.  A typical traditional mom, pop, white picket fence and two car garage household. Her father however, was abusive both physically and mentally and as an adult she told this story often, to people she met. She was rehashing this story with a long time friend of hers who responded by asking 'How long are you going to tell that story and be a victim of that story."  It set her aback and she explained how he ' didn't understand' and how this was a devastating time in her life. He nodded and said, ' I know, but how long are you going to tell that story'.  Sometimes, it's easier to hold on to things that hurt, and hold on to the anger you have for people in your life that are associated with that hurt, instead of forgiving and letting it go.  It's easier and more comfortable to be a victim and blame certain circumstances and reasons for why you cannot move on on other people because we're afraid that we will really fail at it on our own.  It provides us with an excuse because the person in the mirror couldn't possibly have an issue. And if they do, well that's someone else's fault, right?

When you hold on to these feelings and emotions, you also don't allow yourself to be fully expressive with new people and circumstances. Whether you really think it's happening or not, subconsciously you are holding back because this past experience has 'taught' you to be cautious. Learning from an experience is fine, but also remember that this is a different person, who deserves a fresh chance. 

“If people refuse to look at you in a new light and they can only see you for what you were, only see you for the mistakes you've made, if they don't realize that you are not your mistakes, then they have to go.” 

― Steve Maraboli, Life, the Truth, and Being Free

We are all guilty of this either with ourselves or with our friends and in so many ways. How many times have we reminisced on the 'good ol days'. A friend tells us they have changed their ways or are a different person and we are quick to recount all the things they 'used to do' and how that couldn't be true. We keep that ex's number in our phone 'just in case' , and how many times does that usually end up being a drunk dial. : /  We cannot do this or that because it didn't work before. There are not mistakes in life. Everything is intentional. You meet people for a reason. You are thrust into circumstances for a reason. People enter, and yes exit your life for a reason. We make the mistake of thinking that reason is always related to just us. We are a microscopic piece of a huge puzzle that has to fit together just right. It didn't rain just to piss you off. Maybe some crop somewhere needed it. You just happened to be in the area. :)

“The truth is, unless you let go, unless you forgive yourself, unless you forgive the situation, unless you realize that the situation is over, you cannot move forward.” 
― Steve Maraboli, Unapologetically You: Reflections on Life and the Human Experience

Things happen, circumstances happen and people happen. When you get caught up in the why, the who and the how, you stand still. Honestly though, the world keeps moving...as the song goes...With or without you....

Your challenge today....What or who are you holding on to? Sometimes it's good to take an inventory of the people or situations that take up space in your life. Do they contribute to your well being, where you are or where you want to be? Do they WANT to be in your space? Sometimes we hold on to people that have said they don't want to be around. I know it's November...but do some 'spring cleaning'...