Are you a slave?

I had my kettlebell class last night, and had a new person drop in to try the class out. IF you are ever interested in dropping in on a class and live in or work in the NYC area, shoot us an email, support@phoenyxfitness.com. #shamelessplug

So, this new client was wearing a shirt that referenced a bible verse on the front. I Corinthians 9 25-27, and I  had to ask...

ME : Oh,so I noticed the bible verse on your shirt. What does that verse mean?
Her: Like what is the verse? Oh I don't know.
ME: What do you mean you don't know? You're just wearing a shirt quoting something and you don't know what it means? What if someone asks you? What do you say?
Her: I've never had anyone ask me.
ME: *side eye* (I turn to another student) Did you see her shirt?
Her #2: Yes
ME: Were you wondering what the verse meant?
Her #2 Oh it's a bible verse. I thought it was a date. I thought, Oh , maybe that's her birthday. September ...or something.
o_0

LOL. We joked about it a little longer, but I told her I was going to look it up when I got home and shoot her a note, so she didn't walk around with this shirt on like a person that walks around with a tattoo in another language and doesn't know 'exactly' what it means.

When I did get home to look it up, I thought, 'how appropriate' after I read it. This is what is says in NIV translation:

"25 Everyone who competes in the games goes into strict training. They do it to get a crown that will not last; but we do it to get a crown that will last forever. 26 Therefore I do not run like a man running aimlessly; I do not fight like a man beating the air. 27 No, I beat my body and make it my slave so that after I have preached to others, I myself will not be disqualified for the prize."

For those of you who don't believe in religion, the bible, God, etc. let's get past that for a moment and just read what this is saying. In my line of work, I deal with 'athletes'. Not always professional athletes, but people who train, and YES strict training.  That 'crown' that will not last for my competitors is that trophy on stage.  For my athletes training for a race, or sport, it's that finish line or that win. Whatever or whoever it is, everyone trains to obtain a certain something at the end of that journey. Even the every day person's 'crown' is  a new body whether it be for health reasons or image.  

The part I want to focus on is the last verse...'I beat my body and make it my slave....(so) I myself will not be disqualified for the prize'. MAKE it a SLAVE is a powerful statement.  

Slave defined

• a person who is excessively dependent upon or controlled by something.

  
  
• a device, or part of one, directly controlled by another.
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So, if you are making your body your SLAVE you control it. You make it, mold it, train it, tell it what to do. YOUR body is dependent on you, NOT the other way around. How many of you have repeated any of the below statements while training, dieting, etc....

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• 'I had a craving for a *fill in the blank* and I couldn't help myself...'
• ' Everyone else was out drinking and I could not be the only one that wasn't so I just had a few...'
• ' I was so tired so I did half my cardio. I'll 'make it up' tomorrow'

Who's in control? Is your body functioning in line with your mind or are you allowing your body to control YOU? There are no 'cravings'. Your body wants what you allow it to have. If you never had chocolate, you wouldn't crave it. Once you have it and you like it, if you want it again, and you don't have it what happens? Do you DIE because your chocolate gene hasn't been nurtured? No, it goes away and you live to see another day, maybe a few pounds lighter.

This is mostly for my athletes, which is anyone within the breadth of this message that I am training, pro or not, striving to reach a particular goal. As you fall back on those excuses, I want you to ask yourselves what do you really want. What is your ultimate goal. Are you going to control your destiny, your body or are you a slave to food, alcohol,...fill in the blank.  What have you become excessively dependent upon? 

This could turn into a very interesting segway, but for now, we'll leave it with training. :)

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What you say you are, you will be..Step 16

We are on day 16 of our happiness series....  Things we need to let go of to be happy....

Let go of...

16. Insecurity

Happy people tend to have extremely high levels of self-esteem. They accept who they are and work at it everyday of their lives. They radiate confidence, flaunt their pride and give off positive vibes. There is no reason to be insecure in life. If there are things you are self-conscious about, go out into the world and seek to change them. Only you have the ability to create the best version of yourself.

What we have to realize is that we tend to have insecurities about things WE manifest and nurture in our minds and eventually in our physical. We sometimes like to blame our insecurites and self esteem issues on other people, and although some people may mention things or do things that may initiate certain thoughts within us, we decide how we digest and nurture those thoughts. YOU alone decide if you feel fat, ugly, incompetent, worthless, pretty, etc...No one else makes that determination.

I love this quote. I feel it's so true. Take a look at who you spend most of your time meditating on in your mind and who you spend most of your personal time trying to please. Sometimes we are so anxious to please those that aren't happy with who we are, that we 1. miss out on the people who truly matter and really love us, and 2. we continue to dig a deeper and deeper whole reiterating our lack of self worth, and level of who we are.  Other people are quick to point out things that are wrong with others...Ever stop to think that maybe, just maybe, there's nothing wrong with you at all? 

I found this list in an article in the HUFFINGTON Post. http://www.huffingtonpost.ca/2013/02/07/boost-your-self-esteem_n_2632824.html

10 Things you can do now to improve your self esteem. It starts with you...Not anyone else. The word says it ..SELF esteem. OTHERS will think of you and treat you the way YOU allow.

1. Stop comparing yourself to others. Trying to live up to or exceed someone else’s personal best is a losing game. As the saying goes, “How boring would it be if we were all the same?” Focus on being the best you that you can be.

2. Compliment yourself regularly, either by looking in the mirror and saying something you like about yourself or writing it in a journal. Many times, we’re quick to compliment others on their success but hesitate to do the same for ourselves.

3. Exercise consistently, at least 30 minutes of exercise several times a week, to strengthen muscles and to burn calories. Improve your physical strength, and you may feel a sense of empowerment that can dramatically enhance your self-esteem.

4. Simply smile. The mere act of smiling changes blood flow to the brain and can actually makes you feel happier and relieve tension. A smile sets off chemical and physical reactions within your mind and body, releasing endorphins that boost your mood.

5. Focus on your accomplishments. Forgive yourself for mistakes and focus on the positive by celebrating your victories. Consider writing them down so you can review and reflect when you’re feeling down and need to renew your confidence.

6. Get the support you need to succeed. Join a weight-loss support group, like TOPS, which can help you to stay on track to accomplish your wellness goals. Fellow members will help keep you motivated.

7. Make a list of your positive qualities. Are you generous? Kind? Write down at least ten positive qualities about yourself and return to this list as often as needed to boost your morale.

8. Find something special in each day. Even if it’s in a small way, do something pleasant and rewarding, like catching up on your favorite television show, taking a walk to the park, or indulging in a bubble bath. Or treat yourself to something small that isn’t a food or beverage, like a manicure or a new piece of costume jewelry.

9. Eat better. Pay attention to your food choices and nourish your body. Buy healthier foods and prepare well-balanced meals that will help give you energy and feel like your best self – not sluggish and overstuffed.

10. Explore a passion. Whether it’s a side job, hobby, or as a volunteer, pursuing your passion in even a small way can lead to a sense of purpose and significantly improve your overall happiness and quality of life.

I am ending with this quote because I LOVE IT. It's so true. Why do we give so much value to other's opinions of us? Why are others the experts ? When and why do we allow that kind of power?

“Why should we worry about what others think of us, do we have more confidence in their opinions than we do our own?”― Brigham Young

TODAY's Challenge - I like #7, because clearly, I like lists. Make a list of positive things about yourself, and post it somewhere. Remind yourself daily of the great person you are and the things you contribute to your friends, life and society.

Happiness....the 20 Step Series....Step 19

Happiness....the 20 Step Series....

There are no HAPPY control freaks....

Let go of....

19. The Need For Control

Sometimes you just need to let life happen the way it is meant to. You cannot spend your life stressing about things that are outside of your control. Try to relax, and let things play out naturally. Embrace the unknown, as this is where you will be surprised the most. Let yourself be whisked into unforeseen endeavors, and relish in the excitement they bring.

When I was a kid, I LOVED roller coasters. I loved that I never knew where the next turn would take me or what the next BIG drop was going to be. I grew up in Texas and there was this super old roller coaster named the Judge Roy SCREAM. lol. We would come to the top of this roller coaster, and there was a sign with bugs bunny on it and the caption above his head said 'Don't look down'.  Sometimes, they would hold us there just a few seconds and then drop us to our ultimate demise! LOVED it. I would ride it multiple times and we went EVERY year. It never got old. 

As an adult, it's not so cool not knowing. At least not for me. I like to know what's about to happen, what's happening, what I can prevent from happening, etc. People see me as that person that maintains this type of control in all aspects of my life. So, when I am not able to accomplish that, I feel unaccomplished. When something is wrong, I fix it. I've always been that person. In my family, with my friends. I don't go to people to get things done. They come to me. I am not used to not having answers, and it scares me when I don't.

I took some tips from Dr. Amy Johnson's blog Tiny Buddha. Check out her link below. The article...The art of surrender.

http://tinybuddha.com/blog/let-go-of-control-how-to-learn-the-art-of-surrender/

1. We try to control things because of what we think will happen if we don’t.

In other words, control is rooted in fear. -- This is key. I mentioned being afraid earlier. The unexpected is scary! You cannot fear what you don't know because, well, because you don't know!

2. Control is also a result of being attached to a specific outcome—an outcome we’re sure is best for us, as if we always know what’s best.

When we trust that we’re okay no matter what circumstances come our way, we don’t need to micro-manage the universe. We let go. And we open ourselves to all sorts of wonderful possibilities that aren’t there when we’re attached to one “right” path -- This is like that actor that is typecast into the same role. It's comfortable, but what if there is something better out there? 

3. The energy of surrender accomplishes much more than the energy of control.

This is ironic because you spend more energy trying to control a situation than if you just let the situation manifest on its' own.  I have high levels of anxiety, and this surfaces often during these situations. 

A great point she makes in this article is 'consider what business you are in'. Are you in the business of something you which you have direct influence. When I am speaking on business I tell people to stay in their lane. Are you in your lane? Or are you in someone else's AND yours?  Stay in your lane. Stay out of other people's kool-aid. Sweep around your OWN front porch. lol. You get the idea...

Today's Challenge

“If we are facing in the right direction, all we have to do is keep on walking.” ~Proverb