Are you the King of your Jungle?

Lion V Cheetah

Cheetahs..The world's fastest land mammal. It can run at speeds of up to 70 miles an hour, and can cover 23-26 feet in ONE stride.

Lions...Nicknamed the 'King of the Jungle'.  Their roar can be heard up to 5 miles away. The most powerful of all animals and fearless. 

As I was working out today, I was looking at one of the televisions above the stair master.  The screen that caught my eye was on some animal documentary comparing large cats in the wild. This one in particular was comparing cheetahs to lions. Being a Leo, I'm partial to lions. Watching them move within this film was breathtaking and humbling.  A male lion averaging 400-500 pounds, with their amazing manes and staggering stature...it is no wonder adjectives such as majestic, power, courage, and nobility are used often in their descriptions.  

The cheetah was stunning. Graceful, agile, and incredibly fast making its' beauty short lived to those close enough.  Their speed enables them the ability to attack you before you're able to recognize they are even there.

The fastest pitted against the strongest. Why the comparison? When I watched this it reminded me of the question that arose when the Ravens played the Pats some years ago in the super bowl. Who wins super bowls? Offense, or defense? The strongest versus the fastest. I suppose if you are the best at a particular thing within the same 'game' you are going to be compared to the other great thing.

I could go on about the animals separately. It was a fascinating piece. What I found interesting though, was the way the cheetah evened out the match up. You see, if a lion and a cheetah come in contact with one another, the cheetah, of course, can out run a lion...BUT for how long? Eventually, the cheetah needs to come up for air, and the lion then has an opportunity to catch up and pounce. ONCE these two animals are head to head, the cheetah stands NO chance in being able to defend itself. The lion's strength outweighs that of its' 150 pound counterpart, and the cheetah knows this. What do cheetahs do then to keep from becoming extinct at the hands of the lion?  They kill the lion's cubs. Wow. I know I cannot beat you, so I cripple your lineage.

This made me think of a lot of different things, but what I wanted to focus on within this write up is the magnitude of that type of power. Imagine being SO powerful, that people KNOW they would not win if given a chance to challenge you. So, what do they do? They kill your children to keep your legacy from continuing. They take something close to you that weakens your army, and your spirit. They recognize your strength, and utilize a back door method of attack.  We've seen this in history and in movies where great emperors, warriors and leaders who conquered many were attacked through their bloodline. The Gladiator, Braveheart, Jesus... :)

The method of attack and the related item in question that is stolen from you can be related to many things physical or not. Children, family, spouses, money, joy, peace, stability, security,....My thoughts. Am I powerful? Are you powerful? Do people fear you? Not fear as in scared. Fear as in respect. Will you leave a presence that others recognize? A truth they won't question. Do YOU believe in it?

And , what are you leaving behind? Not just in children, family, lineage, but teachings, thoughts, impressions,.. how do you 'touch' people you encounter? Are you king? Or just a predator...

Some things are not meant to RESSURECT

I had the opportunity recently to take some time away from my everyday for a little R and R.  I made a few local trips last year but none that weren't related to a show, and none for me. So, this was the first time I had actually gotten out in over a year. I decided earlier in the year that this was necessary and one day just booked a trip. I saw a few ticket prices to Miami and I have never been to Florida.  Those that know me know that Miami is not really my speed for 'relaxing', so I booked the trip instead, to Ft Lauderdale with the thinking that if I wanted to get into something crazy, I would take the short drive to Miami.  The trip came faster than I knew but immediately after my first show of the year, so I was excited to be able to get away.   

During this time, relaxing was the main thing but I also wanted to reflect on things in my life, where I was, and just reset emotionally, mentally, etc.  There were two main things I wanted to share that left the most impact on me during those few days.

THE SUN RISES for EVERYONE

I went running every morning on the beach before breakfast. There was one morning I went to the beach right across the street from my hotel. Another morning, I biked further south, at least 5-7 miles first, before I began my run. When I entered the beach in both instances, the sun looked the same. It was centered in the background shining on the long expansion of sand to my left and right.  I know how the universe works, but for some reason, I was expecting it to be further up or out of my view because I had moved further along the beach. lol. 

Sometimes, we get hung up on feeling badly because we don't have what we need or we don't think we have enough.  Most of the time we have what we need. We just decide to 'sleep in' and with your hustle from day to day, you miss the basic things that are always there for you.  Take the time to reflect on the quiet and the people, friends, family, situations, etc that have always been there for you. The people and situations that are your rock don't usually change, because they ARE consistent. Don't establish your base with people or things that don't have roots. When you need to come back to them, they need to be there, unconditionally and ready to rejuvenate you. Choose who falls into this bucket wisely. 

LETTING GO does not mean GIVING UP

I love being outdoors, and I love the sun. I can put good use into a pair of sneakers when the weather is right. Last summer, I bought my first pair of Brooks, which is a really great brand of running shoe.  I did an impulse purchase actually, because I was supposed to go to boot camp outdoors with one of my trainers, and I forgot to pack my sneakers. I stopped off at the first running store I found but it was a great store. They tested my running pattern on a treadmill to determine which sneaker would work best. I found that I  have a neutral gait but apparently a choosy color selection because every color I chose, they did not have. lol. So, LITERALLY 7 pairs later, I found a color I could wear every day. 

Now, you are supposed to change out your sneakers almost as often as you change your oil in your car depending on how much you run. Every 3000 miles or every 3 months. During the summer, I can run at least 4 days a week. By August, I should have been ready for new shoes. THEY WERE SO COMFORTABLE. I even had someone send me new ones for Christmas, but I continued to wear my old shoes. One day, someone in class says, ' Are those your socks?'  I looked down at my shoes, and sure enough, my toe was poking out of the side. lol. Ah, I think it's really time to let go.  

While I was in FL, I took one last picture, posted above, as a final farewell.  I knew I wouldn't NOT wear them unless I didn't have them. What better place to bury my shoes than the sunny state of Florida.   We do this in life too, right? Sometimes, you outgrow things, people, situations. Sometimes, things in your life just need to be replaced.  You've had them too long, or they are no longer useful to you in the capacity you had originally intended. No longer GOOD for you, no matter how USED to them you have gotten.  But we hang on to it, because we're used to it. It still feels ok, for the most part.  It feels ok because we're used to the feeling and we are afraid the 'new pair' will hurt our feet. 

When I finally put on the new pair, my ankles hurt and my shins were sore. NOT because these were bad shoes, but because I wore the OLD shoes too long. The new shoes had to correct what bad posture I had established in a pair of shoes I should have let go of a long time ago. There will be growing pains. There is PAIN when you have GROWTH, but you have to move forward, let go, and sometimes, go through a little discomfort to finally come to a better place.

These are my sneakers by the trash at the hotel. Even looking at this makes me a little sad.  

Courage is a choice. Choose courage over fear. 

Are you a slave?

I had my kettlebell class last night, and had a new person drop in to try the class out. IF you are ever interested in dropping in on a class and live in or work in the NYC area, shoot us an email, support@phoenyxfitness.com. #shamelessplug

So, this new client was wearing a shirt that referenced a bible verse on the front. I Corinthians 9 25-27, and I  had to ask...

ME : Oh,so I noticed the bible verse on your shirt. What does that verse mean?
Her: Like what is the verse? Oh I don't know.
ME: What do you mean you don't know? You're just wearing a shirt quoting something and you don't know what it means? What if someone asks you? What do you say?
Her: I've never had anyone ask me.
ME: *side eye* (I turn to another student) Did you see her shirt?
Her #2: Yes
ME: Were you wondering what the verse meant?
Her #2 Oh it's a bible verse. I thought it was a date. I thought, Oh , maybe that's her birthday. September ...or something.
o_0

LOL. We joked about it a little longer, but I told her I was going to look it up when I got home and shoot her a note, so she didn't walk around with this shirt on like a person that walks around with a tattoo in another language and doesn't know 'exactly' what it means.

When I did get home to look it up, I thought, 'how appropriate' after I read it. This is what is says in NIV translation:

"25 Everyone who competes in the games goes into strict training. They do it to get a crown that will not last; but we do it to get a crown that will last forever. 26 Therefore I do not run like a man running aimlessly; I do not fight like a man beating the air. 27 No, I beat my body and make it my slave so that after I have preached to others, I myself will not be disqualified for the prize."

For those of you who don't believe in religion, the bible, God, etc. let's get past that for a moment and just read what this is saying. In my line of work, I deal with 'athletes'. Not always professional athletes, but people who train, and YES strict training.  That 'crown' that will not last for my competitors is that trophy on stage.  For my athletes training for a race, or sport, it's that finish line or that win. Whatever or whoever it is, everyone trains to obtain a certain something at the end of that journey. Even the every day person's 'crown' is  a new body whether it be for health reasons or image.  

The part I want to focus on is the last verse...'I beat my body and make it my slave....(so) I myself will not be disqualified for the prize'. MAKE it a SLAVE is a powerful statement.  

Slave defined

• a person who is excessively dependent upon or controlled by something.

  
  
• a device, or part of one, directly controlled by another.
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So, if you are making your body your SLAVE you control it. You make it, mold it, train it, tell it what to do. YOUR body is dependent on you, NOT the other way around. How many of you have repeated any of the below statements while training, dieting, etc....

• 
  
• 'I had a craving for a *fill in the blank* and I couldn't help myself...'
• ' Everyone else was out drinking and I could not be the only one that wasn't so I just had a few...'
• ' I was so tired so I did half my cardio. I'll 'make it up' tomorrow'

Who's in control? Is your body functioning in line with your mind or are you allowing your body to control YOU? There are no 'cravings'. Your body wants what you allow it to have. If you never had chocolate, you wouldn't crave it. Once you have it and you like it, if you want it again, and you don't have it what happens? Do you DIE because your chocolate gene hasn't been nurtured? No, it goes away and you live to see another day, maybe a few pounds lighter.

This is mostly for my athletes, which is anyone within the breadth of this message that I am training, pro or not, striving to reach a particular goal. As you fall back on those excuses, I want you to ask yourselves what do you really want. What is your ultimate goal. Are you going to control your destiny, your body or are you a slave to food, alcohol,...fill in the blank.  What have you become excessively dependent upon? 

This could turn into a very interesting segway, but for now, we'll leave it with training. :)

• 
  

If he only had a brain....Step 4

We are on day 4 of our happiness series....  Things we need to let go of to be happy....

4. Idea Of A Perfect Partner

There is no such thing as a perfect partner, so throw your checklist out the window. In life, what prevents us from moving forward is looking at the perfect image of a partner we concoct in our minds. Find the right person for you: one that you can love with all your heart, one you feel comfortable with and one that accepts you for the person you are. The sooner you realize there isn’t one perfect person out there for you, the better off you will be.

I love Bob Marley. He makes you scratch below the surface and really think about the real stuff. I saw two versions of this. One about the ladies, as it's quoted above and another about the gentlemen. The one I saw for the men had a phrase at the end that caught my eye, " Love hard when there is love to be had. Because perfect guys don't exist, but there is always one guy that is perfect for you."  He had this great way of putting things into perspective. Someone that is perfect for you. The statement makes you take the expectation off your partner. This person that has to look a certain way. Make a certain type of money. Work a certain job.  You have all these different criteria they have to meet and never take the time to truly appreciate that person for who they really are.  We are quick to want to mold people we meet into something they aren't. Maybe someone to impress your friends? Maybe an ex? 

There were a few different lists of ways to 'find' the perfect mate. I didn't agree with too many of them although one list, I thought had an important point.

IDENTIFY your top THREE DEAL BREAKERS

Although I don't think you should go in with a laundry list of criteria, you have to have foundational characteristics or things you want from a relationship that you absolutely MUST have and you will not move on these items. Do you want to get married? Maybe you DON'T want to get married. Does the person have to be religious? Do you want children? Maybe you don't want to deal with someone with their own children.  Define those things, and keep to those when you are 'searching'.  If you don't know what you want, or don't want, you may get it. ;)

TODAY'S CHALLENGE if you didn't see it coming already, and you don't already have it, your list. What are your three deal breakers? You will be amazed at how differently you determine whether or not someone is the person for you, with this list. Share in the comments if you are inclined. Would love to hear what's on some of your list's out there!

Anything but a carry on will have a fee...Step 12

We are on day 12 of our happiness series....  Things we need to let go of to be happy....

12. Your Baggage

We have all been hurt one time or another by someone we loved, or we thought we loved. Carrying negative feelings into future relationships will only prove to be disastrous. No two people are the same, so it’s unfair to hold a future partner to a standard set by an ex. Try to begin each new relationship with a clean slate.

Definitions  

noun

1. (pejorative) the feelings you have about your past and the things that have happened to you, which often have a negative effect on your behaviour and attitudes

The important part of this definition is the last part...'often have a negative effect on your behaviour and attitudes'

We all have baggage. We cannot help that. We all have a past. It is how this baggage affects us that makes it a good or bad thing. We have this exercise in kettlebell that we do call a suitcase squat. The foundation of the move is a squat of course and you have two kettelebells, one in each hand.  You squat down until the kettlebells touch the floor and then you stand back up, but you keep the kettelebells in your hands. The move simulates picking up a suitcase, except in this case, you never put it down.  This is your baggage. We walk around carrying all the burdens from our past, and instead of squatting and putting them down, we carry them around with us. It starts to get heavy, and we start to take it out on people around us, making them uncomfortable, judging them and making them 'pay' for something that had nothing to do with them to begin with. 

The past has no power to stop you from being present now. Only your grievance about the past can do that. What is grievance? The baggage of old thought and emotion. - Lao Tzu

How many times have we sat and acted a certain way toward someone not because that person did anything to warrant the behavior but because we were hurt previously and are wanting to prevent it from happening again.  #guilty

Emotional baggage is all about fear – Fear of repeating mistakes; fear of hurt being inflicted upon you and fear of being blindsided again by whatever travesty you lived through previously. While fear is a very real and very human emotion, it can be totally debilitating, taking a healthy relationship full of possibilities and halting it under the weight of your memories.

TODAY'S CHALLENGE

This exercise is borrowed from Allison Cohen, M.A., MFT , (www.lifeissuespschotherapy.com). I thought this would be a beneficial exercise in working out the demons of our past. 

Start writing and leave that baggage on the carousel

Not only do you deserve to live “ghost” free, your partner deserves a clean slate and the opportunity to show you who they really are, away from the negative comparisons of relationships past. But how to do just that?

Take out a piece of paper and write down all of the fact-based evidence that proves that this relationship and this partner are different from other dynamics and situations you have experienced. Write down every detail as to how this person and partnership differ (and I mean every detail). When you feel anxious, review this list, take a deep breath and choose to believe in these facts and this logic. Through this process, you essentially re-write the negative code in your head and begin a healthier, more realistic internal dialogue that will keep that “baggage” on the carousel and away from your relationship.

Bare in mind, if you don’t actively (and frequently) work this routine, you will be trapped by the emotion (perpetuated by the fear) and spiral into irrational and damaging protective mechanisms that will quash any future you have with your current love.

“What we think, we become,” - Buddha

Are you my judge?...Day 14

We are on day 14 of our happiness series....  Things we need to let go of to be happy....

Let go of....

14. Judgmental Thoughts

Why do people feel the need to constantly worry about what is going on in other people’s lives? If we spent as much time worrying about our own behaviors as we do worrying about those of others, our lives would be a whole lot more meaningful. You have no idea what is going on in another person’s life, so who are you to pass judgment on the way they act?

“Be curious, not judgmental.” – Walt Whitman

This one is one of my favorites.  I find that I judge people when I am in two situations...I am either JEALOUS of what they have or I am SCARED of doing it myself.
Jealousy we touched on previously right? You see how these all seem to come back around to each other? We don't have, so we downplay someone else's game. Haaaaterz....
Fearful...this one can be interesting. Let's say you have a friend that is trying out a new venture. Financial, physical, mental, whatever, something that is not the usual for them.  Something that takes them out of their comfort zone, but something that could potentially be better for them. They should be fearful, but sometimes, so are we. It may take them away from us. It may really make them a better person, and then what does that mean about me? Maybe this something is something I ALSO need to improve on and I don't want to. So...what do we do? We criticize it. We make it sound stupid. All of a sudden it doesn't make sense....And we're the 'friend'.

Excerpt from Positive Provocations
http://positiveprovocations.com/2012/01/15/how-to-be-non-judgmental-of-yourself-and-others/

Why do we judge others? Isnt it really the easy way out? We much rather judge others than look at our own issues. Its the perfect cover. It makes us feel superior, like as if we were better than them and that temporarily makes us feel good.  Least do we realize, we are only dwelling deeper into the abyss of negativity with this action.

Here is something to chew on...

"Judgment is what we add to discernment when we make a comparison (implicit or explicit) between how things or people are and how we think they ought to be. So, in judgment, there’s an element of dissatisfaction with the way things are and a desire to have things be the way we want them to be."
Tiny Buddha - http://tinybuddha.com/blog/why-judging-people-makes-us-unhappy/

I had to re read this a few times and really marinate on it. ...'we make a comparison between how things or people ARE and how we think they OUGHT to be...'  Now, this is powerful, because the question is, Who tha hell are you? Why is it that you get to decide how things OUGHT to be?? JUDGEMENT is you pushing your predetermined thoughts and standards on the world. Oh, excuse me....I forgot who you are. : /

Excerpt http://www.3ho.org/3ho-lifestyle/healthy-happy-holy-lifestyle/happy/five-ways-get-rid-judgment-meditation-inner

5 WAYS TO GET RID OF JUDGEMENT

1. Don’t Assume You Know Someone’s Story

Often we project our own self-judgments onto others. For example if someone does not seem to be working as hard as everyone else we assume that person is lazy, lesser than and not deserving of our respect.  We cannot know another person’s unique experience – it is impossible.  Best to take your particular judgment and bring it back to yourself because it is really only about you. In the above example, that person’s ego is identified with being ‘a hard worker’ and will value himself only when they work.

2. Let Life Come to You

In the Aquarian Age, we are shifting our reliance on Time and Space – in the Piscean Age we had to go out and get what we needed.  Now what we need comes to us through magnetic frequency. Have you noticed when you stick to this old way of doing life – that you become exhausted and nothing works anyway? This new way of being is very upsetting to  the mind and you will hear a tirade of panicky judgmental thoughts with the sole purpose of  keeping you under its control. This is part of the process of the changeover.  Trust that your magnetic frequency is bringing everything you need even as you read this.

2. Do Not Believe What You Think

The mind is like a computer – it is constantly measuring and comparing –   it works with contrasts – this or that.  You are not your mind – you are the eternal witness of your mind. Do not identify and attach to thoughts, opinions and the ego’s need to be right.  In fact those thoughts and opinions may not even be yours – inherited from your ancestors or you may be just picking up other free floating thoughts from your co-workers, neighbors – strangers on the street.

3. Stop Should-ing all over yourself

Judgment’s power word is should. Go deeper to explore your unique should -  it often means you are seeking approval from an outside source such as a parent, authority figure or your community.  Start to seek approval only from your higher consciousness. This is your Life –  it is time to stop living someone else’s dream and trying to please everyone.

5. The Secret Antidote to Judgment

The secret antidote for judgment is acceptance. This is 100% acceptance of yourself and where you are in your life in this moment.  When you bring this kind of acceptance to yourself – it will raise the vibrational frequency around you.  If you fully embrace this moment in time, you will notice that you have everything you need.   When you completely accept yourself, you won’t have to try and effort to accept others – you will naturally be accepting of others.

TODAY'S CHALLENGE - Let's walk around today without passing judgement on anyone..Remember, acceptance is the key. Just strangers not even people we know. It's Sunday and a church day for some of you....lol..PERFECT.

“People hasten to judge in order not to be judged themselves.” 
― Albert Camus, The Fall

What you say you are, you will be..Step 16

We are on day 16 of our happiness series....  Things we need to let go of to be happy....

Let go of...

16. Insecurity

Happy people tend to have extremely high levels of self-esteem. They accept who they are and work at it everyday of their lives. They radiate confidence, flaunt their pride and give off positive vibes. There is no reason to be insecure in life. If there are things you are self-conscious about, go out into the world and seek to change them. Only you have the ability to create the best version of yourself.

What we have to realize is that we tend to have insecurities about things WE manifest and nurture in our minds and eventually in our physical. We sometimes like to blame our insecurites and self esteem issues on other people, and although some people may mention things or do things that may initiate certain thoughts within us, we decide how we digest and nurture those thoughts. YOU alone decide if you feel fat, ugly, incompetent, worthless, pretty, etc...No one else makes that determination.

I love this quote. I feel it's so true. Take a look at who you spend most of your time meditating on in your mind and who you spend most of your personal time trying to please. Sometimes we are so anxious to please those that aren't happy with who we are, that we 1. miss out on the people who truly matter and really love us, and 2. we continue to dig a deeper and deeper whole reiterating our lack of self worth, and level of who we are.  Other people are quick to point out things that are wrong with others...Ever stop to think that maybe, just maybe, there's nothing wrong with you at all? 

I found this list in an article in the HUFFINGTON Post. http://www.huffingtonpost.ca/2013/02/07/boost-your-self-esteem_n_2632824.html

10 Things you can do now to improve your self esteem. It starts with you...Not anyone else. The word says it ..SELF esteem. OTHERS will think of you and treat you the way YOU allow.

1. Stop comparing yourself to others. Trying to live up to or exceed someone else’s personal best is a losing game. As the saying goes, “How boring would it be if we were all the same?” Focus on being the best you that you can be.

2. Compliment yourself regularly, either by looking in the mirror and saying something you like about yourself or writing it in a journal. Many times, we’re quick to compliment others on their success but hesitate to do the same for ourselves.

3. Exercise consistently, at least 30 minutes of exercise several times a week, to strengthen muscles and to burn calories. Improve your physical strength, and you may feel a sense of empowerment that can dramatically enhance your self-esteem.

4. Simply smile. The mere act of smiling changes blood flow to the brain and can actually makes you feel happier and relieve tension. A smile sets off chemical and physical reactions within your mind and body, releasing endorphins that boost your mood.

5. Focus on your accomplishments. Forgive yourself for mistakes and focus on the positive by celebrating your victories. Consider writing them down so you can review and reflect when you’re feeling down and need to renew your confidence.

6. Get the support you need to succeed. Join a weight-loss support group, like TOPS, which can help you to stay on track to accomplish your wellness goals. Fellow members will help keep you motivated.

7. Make a list of your positive qualities. Are you generous? Kind? Write down at least ten positive qualities about yourself and return to this list as often as needed to boost your morale.

8. Find something special in each day. Even if it’s in a small way, do something pleasant and rewarding, like catching up on your favorite television show, taking a walk to the park, or indulging in a bubble bath. Or treat yourself to something small that isn’t a food or beverage, like a manicure or a new piece of costume jewelry.

9. Eat better. Pay attention to your food choices and nourish your body. Buy healthier foods and prepare well-balanced meals that will help give you energy and feel like your best self – not sluggish and overstuffed.

10. Explore a passion. Whether it’s a side job, hobby, or as a volunteer, pursuing your passion in even a small way can lead to a sense of purpose and significantly improve your overall happiness and quality of life.

I am ending with this quote because I LOVE IT. It's so true. Why do we give so much value to other's opinions of us? Why are others the experts ? When and why do we allow that kind of power?

“Why should we worry about what others think of us, do we have more confidence in their opinions than we do our own?”― Brigham Young

TODAY's Challenge - I like #7, because clearly, I like lists. Make a list of positive things about yourself, and post it somewhere. Remind yourself daily of the great person you are and the things you contribute to your friends, life and society.

Step 18 ....Your past is not your Future

Happiness....the 20 Step Series....

Let go of...

18. The Past

Stop living in the past! There is virtually nothing you can gain if you wallow in mistakes you have previously made. Take past mistakes as lessons learned, and move forward. You cannot wholeheartedly move on to a better future if you are constantly looking behind you. Things happened, and that’s that. Take them with a grain of salt and move on.

This story starts with a lady who, by outside appearances comes from a great family, loving siblings and parents.  A typical traditional mom, pop, white picket fence and two car garage household. Her father however, was abusive both physically and mentally and as an adult she told this story often, to people she met. She was rehashing this story with a long time friend of hers who responded by asking 'How long are you going to tell that story and be a victim of that story."  It set her aback and she explained how he ' didn't understand' and how this was a devastating time in her life. He nodded and said, ' I know, but how long are you going to tell that story'.  Sometimes, it's easier to hold on to things that hurt, and hold on to the anger you have for people in your life that are associated with that hurt, instead of forgiving and letting it go.  It's easier and more comfortable to be a victim and blame certain circumstances and reasons for why you cannot move on on other people because we're afraid that we will really fail at it on our own.  It provides us with an excuse because the person in the mirror couldn't possibly have an issue. And if they do, well that's someone else's fault, right?

When you hold on to these feelings and emotions, you also don't allow yourself to be fully expressive with new people and circumstances. Whether you really think it's happening or not, subconsciously you are holding back because this past experience has 'taught' you to be cautious. Learning from an experience is fine, but also remember that this is a different person, who deserves a fresh chance. 

“If people refuse to look at you in a new light and they can only see you for what you were, only see you for the mistakes you've made, if they don't realize that you are not your mistakes, then they have to go.” 

― Steve Maraboli, Life, the Truth, and Being Free

We are all guilty of this either with ourselves or with our friends and in so many ways. How many times have we reminisced on the 'good ol days'. A friend tells us they have changed their ways or are a different person and we are quick to recount all the things they 'used to do' and how that couldn't be true. We keep that ex's number in our phone 'just in case' , and how many times does that usually end up being a drunk dial. : /  We cannot do this or that because it didn't work before. There are not mistakes in life. Everything is intentional. You meet people for a reason. You are thrust into circumstances for a reason. People enter, and yes exit your life for a reason. We make the mistake of thinking that reason is always related to just us. We are a microscopic piece of a huge puzzle that has to fit together just right. It didn't rain just to piss you off. Maybe some crop somewhere needed it. You just happened to be in the area. :)

“The truth is, unless you let go, unless you forgive yourself, unless you forgive the situation, unless you realize that the situation is over, you cannot move forward.” 
― Steve Maraboli, Unapologetically You: Reflections on Life and the Human Experience

Things happen, circumstances happen and people happen. When you get caught up in the why, the who and the how, you stand still. Honestly though, the world keeps moving...as the song goes...With or without you....

Your challenge today....What or who are you holding on to? Sometimes it's good to take an inventory of the people or situations that take up space in your life. Do they contribute to your well being, where you are or where you want to be? Do they WANT to be in your space? Sometimes we hold on to people that have said they don't want to be around. I know it's November...but do some 'spring cleaning'...