My dog ate my homework....Step 9

We are on day 9 of our happiness series....  Things we need to let go of to be happy....

9. Excuses

Make no time for excuses. You want to work out, but you don’t have the time? Wake up early and get your gym on. Excuses are only rationalizations that make you feel better about yourself for not doing something you want/need to be doing. You desire results? Stop bitching, and start doing.

“At the end of the day, let there be no excuses, no explanations, no regrets.” 
― Steve Maraboli, Life, the Truth, and Being Free

So, as a professional that trains people in fitness and health, this is my mantra. (wo)Man up! lol.  I can relate this to exercise of course first and foremost. We all have excuses for why we cannot workout. You work crazy hours. You travel alot. You have 12 kids and a family to manage. I have heard it all. I don't discount any person's personal situations. We all have them, and at the end of the day, it's called life..We have to deal with it. Whether we want to or not. Whether we feel we can or not.  How important is it to deal with it is the question.  We wake up everyday and feed ourselves, walk the dog, tend to our children, go to work, do chores around the house, pay the bills,etc. We don't make up excuses for certain things because we feel we have to do these things. Maybe we feel obligated. Maybe the consequences for not doing certain things aren't great enough to warrant the responsibility. If I don't pay rent, I don't have a place to live. That's pretty serious.  If I don't workout. What's the worst that could happen? I'm a little fat and people want to poke my belly like the Pillsbury dough boy.....

But let's change the consequence. Let's say my doctor told me I have just been diagnosed with diabetes, and I could lose a limb if I don't get in better shape. Oh,... then maybe I have time in my schedule. : /
This is how we are with things , people, situations in our lives unfortunately. We have feel an urgency to realize the importance of something. We have to lose something to gain an appreciation for it. You don't know what you've got til it's gone..right?

Life is about choices and consequences of those choices. The older I've gotten, I've been forced to understand that more and more. The more excuses you give, it starts to fall  on deaf ears. Sometimes, you just have to show up. The smallest thing you do for some people, in your mind, may be a big thing to someone else. Show up for others. Show up for yourself. Make a decision and do it. It may or may not work, but at least you did what you said you would.

I read these points in a blog by Scott Young. Lengthy but a good read.

http://www.scotthyoung.com/blog/2007/11/22/how-to-stop-making-excuses/

Organizing Your Priorities

What’s more important to you right now? Expanding your finances? Succeeding academically? Improving the quality of your relationships? Excuse making is the result of conflicting priorities. When you don’t have a system for making decisions, the tendency is to just go with whatever feels best in the moment.

You can clear this up by defining what your priorities are. The purpose is to aid when one event conflicts with another. If you have to decide between working on a school project or going on a date, you need to look at your priorities. Which ranks higher? Relationships or academic success.

Priorities clears up the need for excuse making, since it simplifies decisions with conflicting values.

With priorities it’s important to define your major focus and minor focuses. A major focus should get the benefit of any extra attention you have to devote to it. Minor focuses shouldn’t be abandoned, but your goal is to put them on autopilot so most your mental energies are devoted to your major focus.

To give an example, my major focus right now is this business. Earlier this year I realized that if I put a concentrated effort, I could tip the slide to where this business could support me full-time. I’m close to there now, but not quite over the line.

My minor focuses are my health, relationships, social life, Toastmasters and school. These minor focuses continue to be worked on while I improve my income. But most my mental attention is going into ways I can expand this website and offer more value.

Splitting your priorities into a single major focus and several minor focuses makes it far harder to put out excuses. Whenever a conflict arises where I would normally offer an excuse, I can simply think of my priorities. When priorities are clear, it is difficult to justify departing from them.

Breaking Down Discomfort

Mixed-up priorities are only a part of excuse-making. Unwillingness to step into uncomfortable situations is another. Success in almost any effort requires taking risks and facing failure. Becoming a great public speaker requires you get up in front of a big audience and possibly deliver a terrible speech.

The problem is when your priorities dictate you need to take a big step, and you can’t do it. This could mean wanting to improve your business, but not being willing to make cold calls or marketing your product.

What results is excuse-making. You find easier tasks to do and excuse your procrastination. Rationalize away the feeling that you don’t feel comfortable going forward.

The fix here is to break down uncomfortable steps. Laziness is just another manifestation of fear. So if you can’t take the next step, break it into smaller parts you can handle. If you can’t get up on stage to speak, try delivering your speech in front of a few friends. If you can’t make a cold call, try calling someone you already know.

Sometimes, however, a step can’t be broken down. You either need to face it entirely or not at all. In these situations you need to get leverage on yourself. Give a friend $100 of yours to hold onto until you follow through. Make a public commitment. Any of these steps will work.

The next time you catch yourself making an excuse, ask yourself? Does this fit within my priorities? If it doesn’t and you still find yourself making excuses ask yourself if there is any way you could push yourself through the next step.

TODAY'S CHALLENGE:
Especially during this holiday season, there are people in your life that you don't always get to spend time with and see. Take the time to spend with the people you care about. The year starts to take off, and it becomes harder and harder to 'fit people in' :) And get in the gym.
NO excuses....

“The only thing standing between you and your goal is the bullshit story you keep telling yourself as to why you can't achieve it.” 
― Jordan Belfort