Tomorrow may be too late..... Step 11

We are on day 11 of our happiness series....  Things we need to let go of to be happy....

11. Procrastination

Stop thinking you will finally get to whatever task is at hand tomorrow. Live in the present, and get your sh*t done when it needs to be done. Maximize your time to the best of your ability. Complete each task you need to as soon as you can. This allows you to feel free from worry and stress by getting things out of the way as soon as possible. You also allow yourself more free time to enjoy the things you love.

Who remembers Wimpy from Popeye?

I’ll Gladly Pay You Tuesday for a Hamburger Today

First off, this dude always got on my nerves. I always used to tell my mom, "He ain't gonna paaaay!" lol. And he didn't .  Wimpy was our childhood,...well some of us..childhood lesson on procrastination.  Don't put off to tomorrow what you can do today.

Procrastination is like a credit card: it's a lot of fun until you get the bill.
Christopher Parker 

I am a procrastinator. I like to tell people I work best under pressure.  : / Truth of the matter is, I procrastinate because I am a perfectionist. Well if you are a perfectionist, it means everything has to be perfect right? RIGHT, which means I don't complete things until the last minute, why? Because i want to make sure it's PERFECT. Womp womp womp!  

This picture says it all. Not the only reasons one might procrastinate, but covers most of the bases. You are lazy and put things off until the last minute. You put it off because you are afraid of rejection, or failing. You put it off because you keep amending and modifying it until you have it 'perfect'. The scholars call procrastination 'research' :)

“You may delay, but time will not.” 
― Benjamin Franklin

So, tips on how to manage being a procrastinator..

#7 was a good one for me. Rome wasn't built in a day. The world wasn't formed within a few minutes. I don't have to feel like I have to complete everything all at once, as long as I am moving forward that is progress.  
#4 is also a great tip to implement. We usually put things off when we promise it to ourselves, but if we make it known that we are supposed to take care of something, the task carries a bit more weight. Have your friends check you on it. Notice I said FRIENDS. Don't give that responsibility to just anyone.

"Someday is not a day of the week." ~Author Unknown

TODAY'S CHALLENGE - We sometimes procrastinate because we don't know where to start and everything feels overwhelming. So try this..First thing in the morning, don't get on facebook, don't read your email, don't grab coffee...well maybe do that, but directly after, sit down and write down a list of things you need to do that day. Prioritize them and then work off the list. See how many things you can mark off the list before the day is over. Prioritizing in this manner is like logging your food, for those of you who do this. You never know how much you eat unless you write it down. Same with tasks. You may SEEM busy, but busy doing what? Liking posts on facebook? Reading my blog? lol

'Get er done' - Larry the Cable Guy

Thinking is as thinking does...Step 13

We are on day 13 of our happiness series....  Things we need to let go of to be happy....

" God wants to show you exceedingly, abundantly above and beyond, but it will not happen if you’re speaking defeat over your life. " - Joel Osteen

13. Negativity

What you put out into the universe will come back to you, so change the way you think, immediately. Stop thinking of life as a glass half empty, but rather, half full. You have so much to be grateful for, if only you took a moment to appreciate it. Anything is possible in the mind of a positive thinker.

Garbage in, garbage out.  You reap what you sow. Look at the glass as half full, not empty.   

We have all these sayings that we throw around, and this step seems so simple. If you don't want negativity, don't think it. Simple, right?  Our minds are so amazing, that even reigning in on what we think is an exercise in itself. 

The longer you think on something, whether it be true or not, you start to believe it.

- Your swagger portrays it.
- Your dialogue dictates it.
- Your actions mirror it.
- Your family believes it.
- Your friends receive it.

I had the distinct pleasure of attending an improv class with Marishka Phillips , a prominent acting coach in NYC (http://marishkasphillips.com/) and she made mention to what I found a fascinating thought while we were doing an exercise. She said to recollect to our earliest thoughts, which is usually around the age of 5, and try to remember who planted certain thoughts in your head at that time that you still believe today. She said you aren't born thinking a certain way. Someone had to plant these seeds in your mind. WHOA..Think about how amazing that is..Just for a second. Let's say at 5 or before or after, but as a child and for many years, you were told by "fill in the blank" that you were ugly.   This is someone important to you, parent, teacher, close relative, care giver, etc. Repeated words are reinforced daggers that eventually wear at your self image, and make their perception, your reality. Then, it doesn't matter how you look, or what others say. You believe an f'd up visual whittled into your mind by someone else.

This is coming from an outside source. So, imagine what it's like if it's in your own mind. No one lives there, but you, and your mind has all day every day to remind you of things......

BACK up a second.  I'm not really stupid and lazy?

So what do you do? It is a true exercise of your daily thoughts:

1. Watch what I like to call POP UPS - You know how you have the pop up windows on your browser that don't load unless you set it up to automatically load. This is how our mind is sometimes with negative thoughts. I had a client who always said, I can't do that, during our sessions no matter WHAT it was. This is the worst thing you can say to me. It's  like saying you don't like a food you never tried. I told her then that every time she said that, she owed me money. This started to add up, and she realized how often she expressed this, instead of trying. Don't give your pop ups permission.

2. You are a reflection of the company you keep - As much as this may hurt, THIS is OOOH so important. Birds of a feather flock together. If you surround yourself with negativity, which can manifest in situations, circumstances and YES people, you will breed the same. When you go to Disney World, Mickey Mouse doesn't throw tomatoes at you when you walk in. lol. If he, the environment, or anyone there, were any less than super festive, it would not be Disney. People always say to surround yourself with like minded people......Letting go of people that are not on the same page as you, especially when it pertains to your mental health , is not being snotty. It's called growth.

3. SMILE - I don't think I need to tell you how to do this or the benefits. You would be amazed how different your circumstances feel if you just laugh a little. 

4. Negative thoughts are just THOUGHTS - How many of you 'play' the stock market? You buy a commodity at a certain price. Now, the market can yo yo up and down all day long, but until you SELL, your LOSS is not realized. Our thoughts, positive or negative, are just that. THOUGHTS. ...I am ugly, I am not good enough, I am too fat, I am not as smart, ...thoughts, words running through your head. They don't have legs until you give them legs. When these thoughts pop into your head, get rid of them, before it takes a life of its' own. The phrase, 'It's all in your head' is REAL.

5. VERIFY- So a thought comes flying through your mind...They won't like me. I'm too fat....Put on your mental brake... Why did I think that? Did someone say they didn't like me? Did someone say I was fat? And if so, who tha HELL are they ?(judgement blog was yesterday...please re read to refresh) Why does it matter to me IF they like me? Why do I need their approval?  Don't let your mind discount who you are...Prove it!

Today's Challenge - This may be a little time consuming, but worth it if you have the time. List the negative thoughts you have throughout the day. At the end of the day, take a look at your list and put the thoughts through the verification exercise. Initially, I think you would need to write it down,but ideally what you want is to be able to catch these thoughts throughout your day and assess them as you go. Force yourself to think differently, or ...expect the same result.

Envy ...the ulcer of the soul - Socrates Step 15

We are on day 15 of our happiness series....  Things we need to let go of to be happy....

Let go of...

15. Jealousy

Happiness is not having what you want; it’s wanting what you have. Stop envying others and learn to appreciate what you have. Everyone’s life is unique; you have certain things to offer that others cannot. When we act in a jealous manner, all we do is bring negative feelings into our lives. There is absolutely nothing to gain from behaving this way.

Jealousy is ugly and really linked to a few things that you need to let go of that we have already discussed. It's a form of control, at least to the person that is jealous.  It can stem from insecurity.  I tend to struggle with this one as well.  I am loyal and exclusive.  I complained previously about always being that go to person for people and how that can be overwhelming. Well, I tend to instigate that behavior.  I like being the person that people need.  CONTROL! I had 3 people call me superwoman in the past week...And although I don't always have that strength, and need support from others, I love the title.

I think most people think of couples or intimate relationships when they hear the term jealous.  I don't want to focus on just those relationships as you can be jealous of what others have, that you don't. You can be jealous of how someone is prettier, better, richer, etc. than you are. This is behavior that is not including the typical, I wonder if my boyfriend/girlfriend likes someone else or thinks that person is better looking, etc.

There were a few tips I liked from a blog on how to overcome envy.

http://www.positivityblog.com/index.php/2010/07/13/how-to-overcome-envy/

• Focus on yourself when it comes to comparing.

This is really important to remember.  There are words to a gospel song I love where they say, 'you don't know my story. You don't know the things that I've come through. You cannot imagine. The pain the trials I've had to endure' (John P Kee, Life and Favor) This applies to you and each and every person out there. You don't know what it took for someone to get where they are or to obtain the things they have. They don't know these things about you, so how can you compare yourself to someone else. You can only run your race. You will always fail if you compare yourself to others. You will never feel like you have accomplished anything, if it's never as good as someone else.

• Be grateful for what you got.

This is self explanatory. You cannot expect to receive more when you are not even grateful for what you have. Be thankful or you will always be dissatisfied.

• Develop an abundance mentality

This again is a mentality shift. Focus on things you HAVE instead of what you DON'T have. It makes you appreciate those things and people around you.

As you read, you can tell there's a pattern. It's all a mental game. Most of this is just turning around your way of thinking. This applies to intimate and not so personal relationships

• Don't hate, appreciate - You know what helps me? If there is someone out there that I am jealous of or something they have that I want, I go to them and congratulate them. Ask them how they got there. People love to speak on themselves, but more importantly it puts you in a better mental space, and who knows, maybe you learn something new you can apply to your own life.
• You are insatiable - Most people are never satisfied. If you have curly hair, you want it to be straight. If you have a big booty, you want a smaller one. If you don't have a booty, you want a Kim Kardashian badonkadunk.  I wish he communicated better. I wish she wasn't so fat. I wish...I want...We always want the opposite of what we have. You will continue to make yourself unhappy wanting something else.
• There's always someone else - There's always someone prettier, richer, smarter, luckier, more famous, more likeable, etc. Why hate on THAT one, so why hate at all. It just stresses you out, makes you unhappy, and makes the one you are jealous of LOOK even better than you. WHACK

TODAY'S CHALLENGES : Reach out to that chick you don't like, for no good reason, and pay her a compliment. Make a list of those things you have that you are thankful for, or the qualities of that person you are with that you are thankful for. Your significant other lacking ? Of course they are. At least you think so. Think of the things they are good at doing and compliment them on that. Appreciate the things you have. If you did have the things you THINK you really want there would always be something else you THINK you need.

The jealous are troublesome to others, but a torment to themselves.
William Penn 

Crash Diets and Good Habits - Another Seth Godin production

Seth's Blog: Crash diets and good habits


I am a fan of Seth Godin and today he had a great blog that I had to share. In my line of business, I struggle with people of many sizes, shapes, personalities, emotions, etc, but most of the time, they all want the same thing. They want to look a certain way, and they want it now. Then they tell me all the things they have tried. I've cut carbs. I have eliminated sugar. I've had water and lemons for 2 weeks. I have worked out three times a day. I've  eaten nothing but vegetables for a week. Sigh.

All of these things will get you some sort of a result because most of these will send your body into shock and survival mode, but none of these develop the proper habits you need to maintain the outcome. That is IF you receive the outcome you want. You can always do things to 'lose weight' but being healthy and developing yourself physically and long term takes time, proper nutrition and a physical lifestyle.

I like how Seth associates this with all aspects of life. This is the same in your business, in your relationships, your daily living.  There are quick fixes, and then, there are proper foundations that develop long term results.

Don't be afraid of making changes or sacrifices over the course to better yourself for a lifetime. Let's stop looking for that miracle pill.