Are you the King of your Jungle?

Lion V Cheetah

Cheetahs..The world's fastest land mammal. It can run at speeds of up to 70 miles an hour, and can cover 23-26 feet in ONE stride.

Lions...Nicknamed the 'King of the Jungle'.  Their roar can be heard up to 5 miles away. The most powerful of all animals and fearless. 

As I was working out today, I was looking at one of the televisions above the stair master.  The screen that caught my eye was on some animal documentary comparing large cats in the wild. This one in particular was comparing cheetahs to lions. Being a Leo, I'm partial to lions. Watching them move within this film was breathtaking and humbling.  A male lion averaging 400-500 pounds, with their amazing manes and staggering stature...it is no wonder adjectives such as majestic, power, courage, and nobility are used often in their descriptions.  

The cheetah was stunning. Graceful, agile, and incredibly fast making its' beauty short lived to those close enough.  Their speed enables them the ability to attack you before you're able to recognize they are even there.

The fastest pitted against the strongest. Why the comparison? When I watched this it reminded me of the question that arose when the Ravens played the Pats some years ago in the super bowl. Who wins super bowls? Offense, or defense? The strongest versus the fastest. I suppose if you are the best at a particular thing within the same 'game' you are going to be compared to the other great thing.

I could go on about the animals separately. It was a fascinating piece. What I found interesting though, was the way the cheetah evened out the match up. You see, if a lion and a cheetah come in contact with one another, the cheetah, of course, can out run a lion...BUT for how long? Eventually, the cheetah needs to come up for air, and the lion then has an opportunity to catch up and pounce. ONCE these two animals are head to head, the cheetah stands NO chance in being able to defend itself. The lion's strength outweighs that of its' 150 pound counterpart, and the cheetah knows this. What do cheetahs do then to keep from becoming extinct at the hands of the lion?  They kill the lion's cubs. Wow. I know I cannot beat you, so I cripple your lineage.

This made me think of a lot of different things, but what I wanted to focus on within this write up is the magnitude of that type of power. Imagine being SO powerful, that people KNOW they would not win if given a chance to challenge you. So, what do they do? They kill your children to keep your legacy from continuing. They take something close to you that weakens your army, and your spirit. They recognize your strength, and utilize a back door method of attack.  We've seen this in history and in movies where great emperors, warriors and leaders who conquered many were attacked through their bloodline. The Gladiator, Braveheart, Jesus... :)

The method of attack and the related item in question that is stolen from you can be related to many things physical or not. Children, family, spouses, money, joy, peace, stability, security,....My thoughts. Am I powerful? Are you powerful? Do people fear you? Not fear as in scared. Fear as in respect. Will you leave a presence that others recognize? A truth they won't question. Do YOU believe in it?

And , what are you leaving behind? Not just in children, family, lineage, but teachings, thoughts, impressions,.. how do you 'touch' people you encounter? Are you king? Or just a predator...

Rebel without a Cause....

a rebel without a cause

phrase of cause

noun: rebel without a cause

1. 1.

   a person who is dissatisfied with society but does not have a specific aim to fight for.

“He who has a why to live for can bear almost any how.” 
― Friedrich Nietzsche

I have this shirt that, upon purchase, was enticing more for the design than the word. It was loose, hung off my shoulder and was open in the back. Very different and fitting both for my personality, and the front of the shirt. REBEL.  'Someone who resists or defies authority, or the status quo. '

I recently took some much needed downtime and travelled to California. Not my first trip to the state, but my first time in the LA area.  I needed a break, so this trip was scheduled immediately following a big fitness show we participated in in NYC.  During this trip, I really wanted to reflect on myself and obtain some 'answers'...LIFE answers. Usually people have a specific question they need answered. Although, I thought to myself I needed to sort things out, I am not really certain I could lay out the 'things' I needed sorted for someone to help me.  What I did know was I felt uneasy, restless, and lacking. Lacking purpose,...lacking direction....lacking peace  I didn't feel calm. Like I was trying to be still in a bottle someone would continually shake up,..and loudly. It was noisy. In my head...my surroundings,....I couldn't get away from the constant buzz. 

I ran everyday. These were the quietest moments on my trip and the only time I could really shut everything out and think on nothing, and everything. Every morning, I took a run to the water and would just run. Run until it entered my head that I was tired, or I would recognize that the sun was peeping out and people were beginning their day. In that silence, I would listen intently, for a sign...a word. Nothing. 

One day, I had stopped at a Starbucks for coffee and decided to sit there to finish my beverage before heading to the hotel. An older gentleman had taken a seat at one of the 'community' type tables next to mine. I had gotten up to grab something at the counter and when I returned he asked me what my shirt meant. 

'What do you mean?' I asked. 'Why are you wearing that shirt?' He asked. 'Surely, you purchased that shirt to make some sort of statement. What does it mean?'  

I laughed. 'I don't do things the normal way'.  Now HE laughed. ' I like that', he replies. And so my conversation with Luigi began. Luigi, an Italian immigrant who moved to the now Rodondo Beach area as a young man in 1972 and made what he could work for work, work, until he happened upon the trade of carpentry and construction. I sat and spoke with this man for an hour as he continued to lay nugget upon nugget on the table about his life experiences and what's REALLY important in life. He said so much, I told him he should blog little quotes and thoughts each day. I should have recorded him and done it for him. This man still owned a flip phone. lol.  

During our conversation, he would continually ask me why and what do YOU think. Why, why why. What I realized in our discussion was I was the noise. I am the noise, I am the distraction, I am the person shaking up my bottle. The buzz is mine and the voices are me. I move. I am active. I don't sit still, but I'm looking for peace? And when I have silence,...I run. When I had time every morning to listen, I plugged in headphones, and ran, waiting for THE VOICE to drown out the tunes flowing into my ears, and disappointed when I went back to my room without THE ANSWER. What I asked for was a truth that required me to stop and look at myself and deep down, I don't have a complete happiness with the image.

I celebrated a birthday recently. With that came my subconscious mind reflecting on where I've been, what I've done, what I lack, and where I should be. This year, it required a lot more embracing. Who I am,  AND who IS that? What I want, and how that's changed. Where I want to be, live and even who I want to be with and keep in my circle. 

When I started writing, I wrote with the intention of emptying my brain. I wanted the remaining contents to come together and formulate a complete picture that made sense. It rarely happens the way you want right? Although my step by step guide didn't fall from the sky and bounce off my desk, a determination to make things DIFFERENT did.  Making steps towards my whats and eliminating the who's and whats that are not a part of that process. 

A few months ago, I blogged from my last trip in Florida and I mentioned that sometimes you have to leave things behind. Don't be afraid to let things go. I took a picture of an old and very beat up pair of sneakers that I LEFT in Florida. Since then, I had a new pair of sneakers, and although I only had them 3 months, they too are ragged, torn, and ready to be replaced. I took another picture, and left these sneakers in California, but not for the same underlying thought. When I purchased this pair, I got them to get me by, and not because they were the best pair for me. I had my old pair for almost 6 months, and although that is too long to keep a pair of sneakers that you utilize regularly, they maintained for most of that time, because they were a good pair. 

The sneakers I left in Cali

So I left yet another pair, not only to let go, but to find something better, something that will last, and take care of me. I will take the time to find a pair that nurtures that, and not settle on something to 'get me by'.  

Here's to not just getting by. 

Here's to not running. 

Here's to standing still, looking forward with my eyes open, and still being able to embrace the image before me. 

“It is not enough to be industrious; so are the ants. What are you industrious about?"

[Letter to Harrison Blake; November 16, 1857]” 
― Henry David Thoreau, Letters to Various Persons

Would you speak up?

WHAT Would You Do?

I saw this post and looked at the video because I thought the title was interesting.  This apparently, is a series of videos with actors that depict situations and people's reactions are filmed. Not any different than any 'caught on camera' type show, but when I saw this, it really made me wonder what I would do in this situation.

I think in hindsight, I can blog about what I would do in this situation, but if I were to be completely honest, I am not certain I would do the 'right' thing. I could feel the tension in the room as I watched this. I would be interested to receive feedback from people on this video.  Although this one in particular focuses on interracial relationships and racism, the underlying theme isn't any different than what we encountered as children. Peer pressure and sticking your neck out or going against the grain, in a room full of your peers that appear to disagree.  Racism is always an issue, whether it's in our face or not, and has seemed to be heightened lately.  So, this seems an appropriate discussion...Leave me your thoughts!

The Morning After...

I don't know what images this phrase draws for others but it always reminds me of reflecting on some sort of 'damage control'.   The 'morning after' pill...the 'morning after' hangover...the 'morning after' a one night stand...

Then there are those of us who compete in the fitness realm, that have the 'morning after' a show. I presume this feeling is the same for any competitor, athlete, performer, etc who has just participated in this huge event they had been preparing so long for, and finally woke up from the next day with either a feeling of exhilaration or dismay, as you realize your fate was decided the day prior.  I haven't competed in over a year, but now as a coach of a team of ladies whom compete, I've woken up with this 'morning after' more times than I have personally had hitting the stage.

When I first started to compete, my posing coach at the time, and now the posing coach for my team and all around partner in crime, told me she helped others prepare for competitions because she didn't want others to go into it learning along the way as she had.  I always felt prepared for things that came my way because her experience prepared me, good or bad, for a particular outcome. Now, as a coach, I do the same.  As a parent would, you take your child into a situation that may or may not have a desired outcome. You try to 'protect' them as much as you can, but realize all extenuating circumstances are beyond your control, and when it's over, you are there for the 'morning after'.

I went on a run this 'morning after' to clear my head.  It never gets any easier. Whether it's my personal 'morning after' or my team. 

Are your friends bringing down your value?

Let's think about this for a minute. This doesn't say you are the equivalent of the 5 people you spend the most time with, or that you are as successful as your 5 most successful friends. The AVERAGE of the people you spend the most time with. That means you take that five, and take the MEAN of those 5. If you were to take the average of a set of numbers, and you have 4 low numbers, that 4 brings your total down.

There is a similar and  popular quote in spanish speaking countries... 

“Dime con quién andas y te diré quién eres.” Roughly translated, it means, “Tell me who you associate with, and I’ll tell you who you are.” 

We are what we continually do. We also act in an environment in which we are comfortable. If your friends sit around, drink,  and play video games, why would you do any differently? (Hopefully, that doesn't describe too many of you. lol)  Your friends, family, circle, workplace, network, IMMEDIATE access should continually encourage you to take it to that NEXT level. And there's ALWAYS a next level. We thrive on progression. This can be as little or as big as needed for you as long as you are MOVING. People have this general idea for what it means to be better or successful. Your success is just that. YOURS. You don't have to have what your neighbor has or do what your neighbor does, as long as what you are doing and where you are going is better than where you were.  

You cannot LIVE that with people surrounding you that don't believe in the same things. People are generally fearful and selfish. We don't want to be reminded of what we SHOULD be doing. Some people would prefer to be around people worse off than they are, so they don't look bad. And people who aren't on the same page as you may not be willing to encourage your success. 

“It’s better to hang out with people better than you. Pick out associates whose behavior is better than yours and you’ll drift in that direction.”

― Warren Buffett

Who better to quote than Warren Buffett. We fear the challenge of living up to ...Fill in the blank. I want people around me who want it all. I don't want people around me to tell me what I cannot do. My insecure subconscious can do that on its' own.  You can make up an excuse for anything, and it's so much easier to do that than to do and feel 'failure'. The failure is not in doing. It's in NOT trying. 

Who do you have surrounding you today representing your destiny?

As iron sharpens iron, so one man sharpens another.

—Proverbs 27:17

Some things are not meant to RESSURECT

I had the opportunity recently to take some time away from my everyday for a little R and R.  I made a few local trips last year but none that weren't related to a show, and none for me. So, this was the first time I had actually gotten out in over a year. I decided earlier in the year that this was necessary and one day just booked a trip. I saw a few ticket prices to Miami and I have never been to Florida.  Those that know me know that Miami is not really my speed for 'relaxing', so I booked the trip instead, to Ft Lauderdale with the thinking that if I wanted to get into something crazy, I would take the short drive to Miami.  The trip came faster than I knew but immediately after my first show of the year, so I was excited to be able to get away.   

During this time, relaxing was the main thing but I also wanted to reflect on things in my life, where I was, and just reset emotionally, mentally, etc.  There were two main things I wanted to share that left the most impact on me during those few days.

THE SUN RISES for EVERYONE

I went running every morning on the beach before breakfast. There was one morning I went to the beach right across the street from my hotel. Another morning, I biked further south, at least 5-7 miles first, before I began my run. When I entered the beach in both instances, the sun looked the same. It was centered in the background shining on the long expansion of sand to my left and right.  I know how the universe works, but for some reason, I was expecting it to be further up or out of my view because I had moved further along the beach. lol. 

Sometimes, we get hung up on feeling badly because we don't have what we need or we don't think we have enough.  Most of the time we have what we need. We just decide to 'sleep in' and with your hustle from day to day, you miss the basic things that are always there for you.  Take the time to reflect on the quiet and the people, friends, family, situations, etc that have always been there for you. The people and situations that are your rock don't usually change, because they ARE consistent. Don't establish your base with people or things that don't have roots. When you need to come back to them, they need to be there, unconditionally and ready to rejuvenate you. Choose who falls into this bucket wisely. 

LETTING GO does not mean GIVING UP

I love being outdoors, and I love the sun. I can put good use into a pair of sneakers when the weather is right. Last summer, I bought my first pair of Brooks, which is a really great brand of running shoe.  I did an impulse purchase actually, because I was supposed to go to boot camp outdoors with one of my trainers, and I forgot to pack my sneakers. I stopped off at the first running store I found but it was a great store. They tested my running pattern on a treadmill to determine which sneaker would work best. I found that I  have a neutral gait but apparently a choosy color selection because every color I chose, they did not have. lol. So, LITERALLY 7 pairs later, I found a color I could wear every day. 

Now, you are supposed to change out your sneakers almost as often as you change your oil in your car depending on how much you run. Every 3000 miles or every 3 months. During the summer, I can run at least 4 days a week. By August, I should have been ready for new shoes. THEY WERE SO COMFORTABLE. I even had someone send me new ones for Christmas, but I continued to wear my old shoes. One day, someone in class says, ' Are those your socks?'  I looked down at my shoes, and sure enough, my toe was poking out of the side. lol. Ah, I think it's really time to let go.  

While I was in FL, I took one last picture, posted above, as a final farewell.  I knew I wouldn't NOT wear them unless I didn't have them. What better place to bury my shoes than the sunny state of Florida.   We do this in life too, right? Sometimes, you outgrow things, people, situations. Sometimes, things in your life just need to be replaced.  You've had them too long, or they are no longer useful to you in the capacity you had originally intended. No longer GOOD for you, no matter how USED to them you have gotten.  But we hang on to it, because we're used to it. It still feels ok, for the most part.  It feels ok because we're used to the feeling and we are afraid the 'new pair' will hurt our feet. 

When I finally put on the new pair, my ankles hurt and my shins were sore. NOT because these were bad shoes, but because I wore the OLD shoes too long. The new shoes had to correct what bad posture I had established in a pair of shoes I should have let go of a long time ago. There will be growing pains. There is PAIN when you have GROWTH, but you have to move forward, let go, and sometimes, go through a little discomfort to finally come to a better place.

These are my sneakers by the trash at the hotel. Even looking at this makes me a little sad.  

Courage is a choice. Choose courage over fear. 

Are you destined for more than death...?

des·ti·ny

ˈdestinē/

noun

noun: destiny; plural noun: destinies

1. 1.

   the events that will necessarily happen to a particular person or thing in the future.

   "she was unable to control her own destiny"

   • the hidden power believed to control what will happen in the future; fate.

     "he believes in destiny"

   
   

1. 
   

   fate

   fāt/

   noun

   1. 1.

      the development of events beyond a person's control, regarded as determined by a supernatural power.

   
   

   I had a situation occur today with my keys that made me think on fate and destiny. I noticed before it was 'too late', that I was missing my door key and was able to find it prior to reaching my apartment. When I did reach my apartment, the key didn't work anyways. I was fortunate enough to have been able to buzz a neighbor who came down to let me in and we realized someone in the building had locked the front door from the inside.  I guess it was just meant for me to be locked out.

Which brings me to my question...FATE. Can we avoid it? Can we control it? Are there certain things that are just DESTINED to happen?  That no matter how hard you try to make something work, make things happen, change a circumstance, it will come back to what was 'supposed' to happen in the first place.  How many times have you made all the necessary adjustments to make sure a certain circumstance didn't occur and it happened anyways?

Do you remember the choose your own adventure books? I used to love reading these books because I felt like I had some control as to how the story would end.  You had these different instances throughout the story where you had to choose between different scenarios. The scenarios would take you to a different page where the story would continue and it would proceed in that fashion until you ended the story, hopefully still alive but sometimes in a sticky situation by the end.  If you were anything like me, while reading I would choose but kind of 'peek' at the page to see if that was an acceptable route to take before I would continue. lol. We don't exactly have that option in life.

I found this cover, and it made me chuckle but think...'What if no matter WHAT choice you made, the outcome would always be the same. What would you do differently ?' If I were going to die no matter what I chose, how would I go about reading the book. I mean, would I even READ it at all? Would I be more reckless in my choices? More valiant in my efforts as a hero? 

I ran across another interesting theory:

I currently believe that, in a sense, we cannot make a choice, any choice, other than what we are destined to make. 
Imagine having a clone of our universe, IE: plants, animals, weather, Humans, even the experiences, thoughts, memories, synapses of all brains, down to the atomic level etc, .but neither Universe is aware of the others existence. 
Then if we could "pause" both universes and "play" at the same time where they would be in complete sync, same cloud, same raindrops, same falling leaf, same decisions being made, same thoughts etc from both Universes. 
Would not both "Worlds" continue to run in sync ? 
I propose that they would continue in sync since decisions are made solely on information taken in previously and or situations which we find ourselves.
Then if we paused "Universe A" and allowed "Universe B" to continue to run for 100 years before "playing Universe A" would not Universe A have to follow the exact path that took place in Universe B? If not, then why not?
I think, if the above is true, that EVERY decision we make is the ONLY ONE we can make as it is based on the things around us, and also previous thoughts and experiences, since this is all we have "to go on" when making a decision.
And since these 2 universes are not dependent on each other, would the fact that one does not really exist change this concept any?".....
Not that there is something or someone controlling what we do, just that we have to make THAT choice based on ALL information being presented to us and making any other choice other than that one, is impossible, unless i'm wrong in my thinking.

http://www.ted.com/conversations/6105/are_we_bound_by_destiny_or_c.html

So, this isn't necessarily saying we don't HAVE a choice. We make our own choices, but it's saying because of how your situation is laid out, you will only make CERTAIN choices. It's like you are in a certain environment with a certain background, personality, circumstances, etc. Because this already exists, you are only going to choose a certain way because everything within your specific situation is too unique to do differently.

So, what do you think?

If you knew that no matter what you chose in life, you would always have the same outcome, how would you live your life differently?  Is YOUR story already written?

1. 
   

Are you a slave?

I had my kettlebell class last night, and had a new person drop in to try the class out. IF you are ever interested in dropping in on a class and live in or work in the NYC area, shoot us an email, support@phoenyxfitness.com. #shamelessplug

So, this new client was wearing a shirt that referenced a bible verse on the front. I Corinthians 9 25-27, and I  had to ask...

ME : Oh,so I noticed the bible verse on your shirt. What does that verse mean?
Her: Like what is the verse? Oh I don't know.
ME: What do you mean you don't know? You're just wearing a shirt quoting something and you don't know what it means? What if someone asks you? What do you say?
Her: I've never had anyone ask me.
ME: *side eye* (I turn to another student) Did you see her shirt?
Her #2: Yes
ME: Were you wondering what the verse meant?
Her #2 Oh it's a bible verse. I thought it was a date. I thought, Oh , maybe that's her birthday. September ...or something.
o_0

LOL. We joked about it a little longer, but I told her I was going to look it up when I got home and shoot her a note, so she didn't walk around with this shirt on like a person that walks around with a tattoo in another language and doesn't know 'exactly' what it means.

When I did get home to look it up, I thought, 'how appropriate' after I read it. This is what is says in NIV translation:

"25 Everyone who competes in the games goes into strict training. They do it to get a crown that will not last; but we do it to get a crown that will last forever. 26 Therefore I do not run like a man running aimlessly; I do not fight like a man beating the air. 27 No, I beat my body and make it my slave so that after I have preached to others, I myself will not be disqualified for the prize."

For those of you who don't believe in religion, the bible, God, etc. let's get past that for a moment and just read what this is saying. In my line of work, I deal with 'athletes'. Not always professional athletes, but people who train, and YES strict training.  That 'crown' that will not last for my competitors is that trophy on stage.  For my athletes training for a race, or sport, it's that finish line or that win. Whatever or whoever it is, everyone trains to obtain a certain something at the end of that journey. Even the every day person's 'crown' is  a new body whether it be for health reasons or image.  

The part I want to focus on is the last verse...'I beat my body and make it my slave....(so) I myself will not be disqualified for the prize'. MAKE it a SLAVE is a powerful statement.  

Slave defined

• a person who is excessively dependent upon or controlled by something.

  
  
• a device, or part of one, directly controlled by another.
• 
  

So, if you are making your body your SLAVE you control it. You make it, mold it, train it, tell it what to do. YOUR body is dependent on you, NOT the other way around. How many of you have repeated any of the below statements while training, dieting, etc....

• 
  
• 'I had a craving for a *fill in the blank* and I couldn't help myself...'
• ' Everyone else was out drinking and I could not be the only one that wasn't so I just had a few...'
• ' I was so tired so I did half my cardio. I'll 'make it up' tomorrow'

Who's in control? Is your body functioning in line with your mind or are you allowing your body to control YOU? There are no 'cravings'. Your body wants what you allow it to have. If you never had chocolate, you wouldn't crave it. Once you have it and you like it, if you want it again, and you don't have it what happens? Do you DIE because your chocolate gene hasn't been nurtured? No, it goes away and you live to see another day, maybe a few pounds lighter.

This is mostly for my athletes, which is anyone within the breadth of this message that I am training, pro or not, striving to reach a particular goal. As you fall back on those excuses, I want you to ask yourselves what do you really want. What is your ultimate goal. Are you going to control your destiny, your body or are you a slave to food, alcohol,...fill in the blank.  What have you become excessively dependent upon? 

This could turn into a very interesting segway, but for now, we'll leave it with training. :)

• 
  

Will you be there...?

I have a group of ladies that are on a 10 week challenge to get into a bikini! For some of you, you are probably like what's the big deal, I go to nude beaches. lol. Some people have never worn a bikini, IN LIFE! Can you imagine that? There are people you see at the beach in shorts and a tee and that is the most stripped down they will be in public. So, THIS is a huge step for some of these ladies, and for some a note able shift in their lives.  I don't want to focus on that, just yet. What I want to talk to you about is commitment. The long haul. The after, after. I told the ladies that I want their COMMITMENT, not their EXCITEMENT.

I love it when people say they are excited about something, don't you?! ' OMG I'm so excited about *fill in the blank*. I can't wait to do *fill in the blank*. Oh this time I"m gonna ' FILL..IN ...THE ...BLANK'
Then what happens? You ask them about it later and they are equally UNEXCITED about what they were ECSTATIC about in the beginning. Back to the challenge. Sure, I needed the excitement in the beginning. The excitement brings about the decision to act. EXCITMENT is an emotion. I can be excited about something today, and HATE (another emotion) something tomorrow. If we were required to grant refunds on emotion, I would not make any money. But, once people commit something they think is substantial, ie money, then they are more willing to complete the task they promised at the inception. It's funny that our WORD isn't substantial enough.

I am speaking on exercise but this applies to life. Your 'new year's resolutions' to workout and get in better shape, and lose weight and lack thereof after  2 weeks at a meager attempt to keep a consistent schedule is no different than the 'moves' you're going to make to get a new job, or the lack luster attempt you make at  working at your relationship. Only then, to blame the failure on some outlier when your heart, determination and motivation weren't there in the beginning. Why do we say we want these things ? Because we really DO want these things. Why don't we follow through? Fear of failure? Fear of what's next? Fear of success even. Self sabotage? Sometimes the next steps to the success requires some change from you that you fear. Laziness? Fear of extra work? We don't want to risk being hurt whether it be our hearts, or our ego. You see, most people expect you to fail. It's so much easier to fall into everyone's expectations of being less than your full potential. Really think about that. How many people do you have in your immediate circle that push you to do more than you dream? What's the first thing a lot of people say to your desires or goals? 'That won't work' ' Oh a friend of mine did that and didn't like it' 'You've never been able to do that. What makes you think that will work now?' ' Oh well good luck, but you know how you are'  Be careful who you reach out to for 'advise' or confirmation. Your 'friends' are sometimes the worst comforters with their 'honest' opinions.

What do you want to do today? Then do it, and stick with it. Not tomorow. Not next week. Not when you feel better. Not when it stops snowing....

Write it down, slap that bitch on your wall...and own it.

Love is.......?

WHAT is LOVE?

I liked this when I read it and had to post it to open this up. LOVE...it appears to be so simple. It is one of the most overused and yet, most misunderstood words in our vocabulary. WHAT is love?

" Love is a force of nature. However much we may want to, we can not command, demand, or disappear love, any more than we can command the moon and the stars and the wind and the rain to come and go according to our whims. We may have some limited ability to change the weather, but we do so at the risk of upsetting an ecological balance we don't fully understand. Similarly, we can stage a seduction or mount a courtship, but the result is more likely to be infatuation, or two illusions dancing together, than love." 

Published on November 25, 2011 by Deborah Anapol, Ph.D. in Love Without Limits

http://www.psychologytoday.com/blog/love-without-limits/201111/what-is-love

According to this article, it's uncontrollable. It's something that enters unannounced and can exit in the same fashion.  This would support 'falling' in and out of love. It just happened. I just woke up one day, and I didn't love you anymore. 

Let's go back to basics:

love

  [luhv]  Show IPA

noun

1.

a profoundly tender, passionate affection for another person.

2.

a feeling of warm personal attachment or deep affection, as for a parent, child, or friend.

3.

sexual passion or desire.

4.

a person toward whom love is felt; beloved person; sweetheart.

5.

(used in direct address as a term of endearment, affection, or the like): Would you like to see a movie,love?

Verb

16.

to have a profoundly tender, passionate affection for (another person).

17.

to have a strong liking for; take great pleasure in: to love music.

18.

to need or require; benefit greatly from: Plants love sunlight.

19.

to embrace and kiss (someone), as a lover.

Passion, tender, strong 'liking'. A lot of lofty words that could mean very different things to different people in different situations. I think that is what makes this so complicated. This clearly states though, that love is an emotion .So wait, once I fall in love with someone, I don't just love them forever?.....

Now this is interesting...It is sort of saying the same thing. Yeah, you can't help who you fall in love with, BUT you DO help if you continue to LOVE this person. Love becomes a CHOICE. 

I took this next excerpt from one of my favorite books...'A Purpose Driven Life' by Rick Warren.

Love is a choice and a commitment. You choose to love or you choose not to love.

Today we’ve bought into this myth that love is uncontrollable, that it’s something that just happens to us; it’s not something we control. In fact, even the language we use implies the uncontrollability of love. We say, “I fell in love,” as if love is some kind of a ditch. It’s like I’m walking along one day and bam! – I fell in love. I couldn’t help myself.

But I have to tell you the truth – that’s not love. Love doesn’t just happen to you. Love is a choice and it represents a commitment.

There it is, that  C word. lol COMMITMENT. We are throwing a lot of terms around. choice, and choosing, commitment, changes, CHANCES. 

I think this will be a great and interesting way to segway into Valentine's Day. Let's get this started..I want your thoughts..What is love???

Mood music! What is love...Haddaway!